‘Do you want to call Anders or shall I?’ he asks.
‘You do it. He likes you better.’
‘Oh, I see how it is. You’re palming off the hard jobs on me already.’
‘Couples shoulder each other’s burdens right?’ That makes him laugh, exactly how I wanted him too.
‘Who made you such an expert in couple behaviour?’
I hit him with his pillow and he hits me back as we fall into the most childish pillow fight until it turns into kissing, and then fucking on top of a stack of fluffy pillows on the floor.
In the end, though, we still have to leave behind the cosy cottage to fly to Japan. I know it’s a tough goodbye for Kian when he would rather be here with his family.
We’re both also all too aware that once we grab our bags and step outside that door, everything changes. The bubble we’ve lived in for the last couple of days will burst and it’ll be back to real life. The promises we’ve both made mean nothing until they’ve been stress-tested in the field.
‘I love this place,’ I comment, taking one final look around. It’s so very Kian and I can’t believe he doesn’t spend more time here. ‘I’m not sure what your Norwich house is like, but I doubt it’s as lovely as this.’
‘Didn’t realise I was getting judged on my interior-decorating skills while we were having sex,’ he laughs.
‘It’s nothing to do with that. It just really suits you.’
I can imagine him pottering in the kitchen, making all his favourite meals, lounging in the small sitting area with the log burner roaring and a book in hand considering there’s not a TV in there. The bathroom is perfect with its big rainfall shower and wood-panelled walls, and then there’s the clawfoot tub in the corner.
Then his bedroom… I’ve never felt more at peace in a room. There is a zen in here I didn’t know you could create in just one room. The neutral colours with the one dark wall behind the bed give the cosiest vibe. It’s masculine but not aggressively so. I feel at home here too, which is weird because I’ve never felt at home anywhere. Maybe I just feel at home wherever Kian is.
Now it’s back to hotel rooms for the final cities on the circuit.
‘Well, it’s not going anywhere.’And neither am I.The words are unspoken but they may as well have been because his meaning is loud and clear. He punctuates his statement with a kiss to the lips. It tastes of the promise that this is not the last time we’ll be here together.
* * *
I think about his words during the flight to Japan, over-analysing their meaning as he sleeps peacefully next to me. Will he want to spend the whole break here? Will he ask me to move in? Is it too early to be thinking about this?
I’m still mulling over every possibility when we land.
We probably should have thought about the chaos of landing in Japan, because we get absolutely hounded at the airport. There are still floaters in my eyes from the avalanche of flash photography and journalists screaming questions at us – some curious and speculative, some gross and inappropriate.
‘Christ,’ he breathes out as we slide into the backseat of the car.
‘Yup. That was…’
I slip my hand across the middle of the seat and take his hand as the car pulls out of the short-stay car park, heading to the hotel.
Whilst Anna couldn’t be there to meet us at the airport, she had sent us a bunch of texts reminding us to ignore everything thrown at us and say ‘no comment’ till we’re blue in the face. Those media sessions would probably have come in handy right about now.
I feel like we could both use a nap in our hotel room, maybe a light workout to ease us back into everything, but no. The second we’re back at the hotel we’re being pulled into a ‘Relationship Strategy Meeting’.Because of course there needs to be a strategy meeting about our relationship.
Relationship.
I’ve barely been in one for forty-eight hours and I’m having a meeting about it with my boss.
Completely normal.
Completely fucking normal.
‘For a second, I thought we were going to be steamrolled by the crowds. We should probably talk to our agents about temporarily having some more security until the hype dies down,’ Kian says.
I agree with a nod. I don’t want us to have to hide, but we still need to focus on the races that are coming up and Kian still needs privacy to grieve and handle everything else that’s going on around him.
