Him being further protected will give me more peace of mind.
We’re shielded under big golf umbrellas as we step out of our car from the airport, and are bundled straight into the conference room of the hotel we’re staying in for the next two weeks.
Anders is immediately out of his seat, tugging Kian into a hug. For a moment I just watch from the hallway. This team is Anders’s baby. It might not belong to him as such, but he’s the one who built it from the ground up. It’s a newer team in the sport and Kian’s been part of it for most of that time. So the scene playing out in front of me makes sense.
I’m glad Kian has Anders. I noticed there was no mention of his actual father during his mum’s funeral. I’m glad he did what I told him and stayed away. Weird how I used to idolise Tyler Heath. Since I’ve got to know Kian, I know they couldn’t be more different. If you’d asked me at the beginning of the season, I’d have said I admired Tyler’s fearless style and his desire to squeeze every drop of pleasure out of life. I’d also have said – and I believe I did actually say – that Kian is a boring bastard. But the thing is, I’ve slowly, gradually, little by little, come to admire what Kian brings to the sport far more. He’s dedicated, patient, reliable and I’ve never met anyone who works harder. He gets results because he’s brilliant; he earns his wins. Tyler got results because he was talented and because he was lucky … and then he threw it all away, like I nearly did, because he didn’t understand that you need strength of character to race, not just personality.
I give Anders and Kian a minute to hug it out before cockily clearing my throat.
‘I’m back too, you know?’
They both laugh, but Anders claps me on the shoulders in a version of the same welcome. ‘Back to being a pain in my ass.’
There’s a second of awkward silence while Anders undoubtedly wishes he’d chosen a different expression, but then everyone laughs and I can’t help myself.
‘I mean, actually that’s only something I provide to––’
Kian slaps a hand over my mouth before I can say anything that’s going to get me in trouble. It doesn’t stop me licking the palm of his hand, though, before he guides us to our seats.
‘Let’s get your agents dialled into this meeting, and in the meantime, I just want to check in with you both. The last week has obviously been a lot to handle and your brains must be scrambled. The schedule here in Japan can be reduced as much as you both need, but I would love to have you both on the track this weekend.’
It’s more than I expected and I can’t even begin to explain why I want to bawl like a baby right now. It almost makes me uncomfortable and Kian must sense it as I shift in the seat next to him, because he takes my hand and rests it trapped in his on my thigh.
‘I’m ready to race. I’d appreciate it if we could limit some of the pre-race press calls, just so we can focus on performance,’ Kian says.
‘Of course. If you’re sure? We can send London out again if we have to.’ I don’t know why I’m shocked that Anders is trying to give Kian an out. Any other team principal would be pressuring him to get back out there and win. If we’re to stay competitive in the Constructors’ Championship, Hendersohm needs both of us back out there to make it happen.
‘Very. Mum wouldn’t want me to throw the season away. She’d want me to finish it in style. There’s no chance of the championship-points record now, but I’m still just about top of the Drivers’ Championship and I want to stay there, and that doesn’t happen if I don’t drive.’
‘Well, that’s very good to hear. Just keep us in the loop if anything changes,’ Anders replies. ‘Now, the other thing…’
‘Us being … together?’ I say. I’m trying to show Kian that I meant what I said, and that I won’t let him down again.
‘Exactly that. It goes without saying that you have mine and Hendersohm’s full support, and if anyone in the garage or the wider team has a problem with it, they’ll answer to me.’
Anders is firm with his words, and I appreciate his clear, no-nonsense approach. Maybe it’s because he has a gay son or maybe because he genuinely cares, who knows. It hardly matters when he’s creating a good atmosphere for us in the team.
‘We just need to discuss how this is going to play out so Anna can stop freaking out about a PR strategy now that the pictures are all over social media. There’s some work we need to do with the sponsors as well, but that’s not your responsibility, so don’t worry about it.’
‘We aren’t looking to hide,’ I quickly confirm. ‘That’s not what we want, but we also understand that there are competing pressures. We’re going to Qatar next, and then there’s Abu Dhabi at the end of the season, and that will present its own challenges.’
‘Okay then.’ Anders claps his hands. ‘Let’s properly put Hendersohm on the map. How do we feel about doing the double and bringing home both the Drivers’ and Constructors’ Championships this season? Anna, do you want to start with a summary of our key points?’
And just like that, Kian and I are a couple. And everyone knows.
ChapterThirty-One
Kian
This is it.
No one, except Elise, knows that this will be the last race of my career.
The top of the table is so tight that if I don’t come first today, I don’t come first overall. Missing the Singapore Grand Prix dramatically reduced my lead, and the top contenders are bunched together now. I want to retain my title. I want to be World Champion one last time. I want that trophy I promised Cassie.
I also want Harper to see me win. I know it’s stupid, but I want to be amazing for him. I want him to be proud of me. We’ve been inseparable since Mum’s funeral. The team has continued to book us separate hotel rooms, and we do make some use of them. We stayed apart while in Qatar and Abu Dhabi, for obvious reasons, but everywhere else we’ve basically been living together.
We keep it professional when we’re in the garage, or training, or in meetings.
