‘Bloody hell, motor racing is about to be a whole other world,’ he says, before resting his head on my shoulders.
I don’t think that’ll be the case at all, I’m just one small moving part. But it’s nice I’m at least a bit of a legend in my boyfriend’s eyes. That’s what is important.
He waits outside Anders’s office as I go in, my agents on speaker as I let them both know. I’ve probably chosen the best time to do it because we’re so close to race time neither of them have a chance to quiz me about it being the right decision or to convince me to stay.
More than anything, they both seem to have been expecting it anyway so I’ll take that as a win as I step out of the office unscathed.
‘One step at a time. So, we should, uh, probably go out there and win this then?’ I say.
‘Absolutely,’ Harper replies as we get our gear on and then head towards our separate cars.
For once, Elise, Grant and the kids are here. I wanted them to be here to see me. I had to tell Elise it would be my last race ever in order to persuade her to come, and I know she’ll be anxious for me, but it wouldn’t be the same without her. Cassie’s made a sign and she’s waving it furiously, hooting and hollering in the friends-and-family section. I blow my niece a kiss and wave to Elise; it’s all I need to feel geared up to go one final time.
* * *
For so much of the race it feels like it could go either way. I lead, then Yorris leads, and then I lead again. Yorris has clearly decided he’s going for it, too, and as Cole confirms it’s ten laps to go, I still can’t find a way around Yorris. He’s maximising his speed on every bit of straight and the second we get to a bend or corner he’s so central in the track I can’t get round him. It’s aggressive driving and I can feel how much he wants my title.
Until we arrive at the penultimate lap. I’m running out of chances, and we both know it. And then, perhaps it’s the magnitude of the occasion, or perhaps he loses focus for a split second, but on a tight bend he’s gravitating so close to the edge that a gap appears beside him. It’s the moment I’ve been waiting for.
It’s time to be bold. One last time. It’s time to risk everything.
‘Cole, I’m going for it. If it doesn’t pay off, then?—’
‘Go, Kian. Go! Go now!’
In a snap decision, I swerve out from behind Yorris and blast past him in a slick manoeuvre that forces all other thoughts from my head. It’s a massive risk because he could clip me as I pull around but he doesn’t.
‘Yes, Kian, yes! That’s it!’ Cole is shrieking in my ear.
And I’ve done it. I’ve taken the lead. I only have to hold it for one more lap and then I’ll have done it.
Hold your nerve, Walker. Hold your nerve, man.
I think about all the people who are cheering me on and willing me to this victory. Mum, Elise, Cassie. Harper. I’m so lucky. How did I get so lucky?
Time starts to slow down and I picture a crackling fire in the log burner, and Harper beside me on the sofa, the cottage decorated for Christmas. Maybe a cat.
This is so not the time for overthinking. Last push, and then I can fantasise all I like.
Cole is screaming in my ear, ‘Go, go, go! Fuck yeah! Go!’
I see it now, the finish line, the sum of all my ambitions.
‘Harper’s up your ass, man!
What?!
‘Harper’s got P2. Go, go!’
Cole’s going crazy now because Harper’s right behind me, and I think it’d be just like the cheeky twat to take me on the line. I won’t give him the satisfaction, though. I want a clear win so he can never claim he handed it to me, and as I cross the finish line in P1 I know I’ve done it.
I’ve done it.
My final World Championship.
My last race.
I’m screaming into the mic because I know Harper’s done his job, too, which means we’ve got the Constructors’ Championship as well. It’s the most incredible high I’ve ever experienced. Sheer and utter joy envelop me as I pull into my spot and let the technicians help me out.
