I nodded, exhausted, euphoric, heartbroken all at once.
A soft knock at the door.
Jake poked his head in. “They’re all out here. Cal’s… losing it. Pacing. Crying. Asking every two minutes if he can see you.”
I looked down at the baby, our son, sleeping against my chest now, tiny breaths puffing against my skin.
I swallowed hard. “Tell him… he can come in. But only him. And only for a minute.”
Jake nodded and disappeared.
Seconds later the door opened again.
Cal stepped in slowly, like he was afraid the room might collapse if he moved too fast. His eyes were swollen, face streaked with tears. He stopped at the foot of the bed, staring at the tiny bundle on my chest.
“Is that…?”
“Boy,” I said quietly. “Your son.”
Cal’s breath hitched. He took one step closer, then another. “Can I…?”
I nodded once.
He came around the side of the bed, sank into the chair beside me. His hands shook as he reached out, hesitant, reverent. I shifted the baby so Cal could see his face.
Cal touched one tiny hand with his fingertip. The baby flexed his fingers, wrapping them around Cal’s.
“Oh God,” Cal whispered, voice breaking. “He’s perfect.”
I didn’t answer. Just watched.
Cal looked at me then, really looked. “I don’t deserve this. I know I don’t. But thank you. For him. For letting me see him.”
Tears slipped down my cheeks again. “He needs a name.”
Cal swallowed. “What do you want?”
I looked down at the baby, peaceful, innocent, untouched by all our mess. “Asher,” I said softly. “Asher Jackson Parker.”
Cal nodded, tears falling freely now. “Asher.”
We sat in silence for a long minute, just the three of us. The beeping monitors, Asher’s soft breaths, Cal’s quiet sobs.
Then I spoke, voice steady despite everything.
“You can hold him. But then you need to go.”
Cal looked like I’d slapped him, but he nodded. “Okay.”
I lifted Asher carefully, placed him in Cal’s arms.
Cal cradled him like he was made of glass. “Hey, little man,” he whispered. “I’m your dad. I’m gonna try so hard to be better for you.”
Asher stirred, blinked sleepy eyes up at him.
Cal pressed a trembling kiss to his forehead. “I love you,” he said, to Asher, to me, to both of us. “I love you so much.”
Then he handed him back, gently, carefully, and stood.
