“I’ll be outside,” he said hoarsely. “Whenever you’re ready.”
He walked out.
The door clicked shut.
I held Asher close, breathing him in, new baby smell, milk, life.
Zariah squeezed my shoulder. “What now?”
I looked at the door Cal had just walked through.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “But we’re going to figure it out.”
One breath at a time.
Chapter 35
Cal
The door clicked shut behind me and the hallway swallowed the sound like it was trying to erase me.
I stood there for a second, maybe longer, chest heaving, eyes burning, the sterile smell of the hospital burning my nostrils. My hands were still trembling from holding him. Asher. My son. Eight pounds of warm, perfect weight that had looked up at me like I wasn’t the monster I knew I was. His tiny fingers had curled around mine and I’d felt something crack open inside me, something I’d spent years trying to keep locked down.
I slid down the wall until my ass hit the cold tile, knees up, head in my hands. Tears came hot and fast, silent at first, then choking sobs I couldn’t stop. I didn’t care who saw. Nurses walked past. A janitor mopped nearby. I just sat there breaking.
He was real. He was here. And I’d almost missed it because I’d been too busy numbing myself with pills and Sydney’s poison.
Footsteps approached, familiar ones.
Kei crouched in front of me, face still bruised from our fight, eyes red. “Hey.”
I didn’t look up. “Don’t.”
“Too late.” He sat beside me, shoulder to shoulder. Holland and Jake appeared a minute later, leaning against the opposite wall like sentinels.
None of them spoke at first. Just let me cry.
When the sobs slowed to ragged breaths, Kei said quietly, “He’s beautiful, man.”
“Yeah.” My voice cracked. “He looks like her. Mostly her. But… his nose. That’s mine.”
Holland smiled small. “Lucky kid.”
I laughed, wet, broken. “He’s got no idea what he’s in for.”
Jake pushed off the wall. “We need to talk. Before you go back in there.”
I wiped my face with my sleeve. “About what?”
“About the fact that you almost OD’d on whatever Syd slipped you,” Kei said flatly. “About the fact that you were high when your son was born. About the fact that Hadley saw you with Syd on your lap right before her water broke.”
The words hit like punches. I flinched.
“I need to see Syd,” I said suddenly, standing too fast. The hallway tilted. “Right now.”
Kei stood with me. “She’s in the waiting room. We told her to stay put.”
We walked, me leading, them flanking, like I was marching to an execution. The waiting room was quiet except for the low hum of a TV nobody was watching. Sydney sat in the corner, legs crossed, scrolling her phone like nothing had happened.
