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The song was ancient and from an era long before mine, but that didn’t change its meaning. Music had a way of saying everything your mind couldn’t.
I adjusted the air temp, glancing in the rearview when I was done. Feeling the weight of my stare, Nyx looked away from the window, locking her gaze with mine.
Her eyes were sunlight shining through a sea of whiskey and every bit as capable of making you burn from the inside out. She broke contact first, returning to what she thought was her impenetrable bubble.
If and when I wanted in, I would be. I tapped my fingers on the middle console’s glove compartment, trying to get my head in the game. I think I needed a break. All these different acts were tiresome.
She let me hold her through the night and gave me the cold shoulder during the day. I needed a different method to get to her and so far all I’d managed to come up with was unapologetically being exactly who I was.
She still hid her chaos, and I still hid my vicious. I could no longer pretend to give a shit about how bad it would be if we were to bring the two together.
I couldn’t stop her rapid decay any more than I could stop mine. If we were to rot, we would just have to rot together.
Something told me, though, that death and darkness were one and the same. I’d made her a promise, and I think it was time she knew I always followed through.
Chapter Five
qinque
When the SUV pulled into the next parking lot, I was all but ready to dive out of it.
“Hey,” Addy said softly, lifting her head from my shoulder. “What’s going on with you?”
I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, seeing nothing but concern reflected in hers.
I couldn’t remember the last time she and I had had the chance to talk one on one. Zane coming into her life was great, but I still felt as if we were drifting apart somewhat.
I’d never kept anything from her before, especially not to this extent. I hadn’t even told her about sleeping with Maliki. There was just too much to say, and that much more I couldn’t say. Things were bad enough without digging diseased fingers into an open wound.
Cognizant that everyone else in the SUV had much better hearing than us and tended to be nosey assholes, I brushed the question off with my most believable smile.
“I’m good. Are you?”
Her eyes squinted slightly, an indication she knew I was lying.
“I’m as good as I can be, considering the circumstance. But I asked about you.”
“I’m trying,” I replied, getting out of the truck before she could say anything more. Spilling all of my problems onto her shoulders wouldn’t be right. She couldn’t fix me, and now was not the time to see if I would break.
I’d barely taken a full breath of fresh air before Maliki was standing a few feet away from me.
I turned towards him, trying to think of something to say. I hated that I was always the one to throw the wall up between us. Maliki hurt too, I knew that, and while his armor was begging me to dismantle it, mine continued to grow thorns of poison, warning him away.
The look on his face had me losing my line of thought.
It was cold and calculating, giving nothing away, predatory in regard.
A frigid chill raced down my spine and a small ball of excitement bloomed in my gut. This was how he looked at me when we first met. No, the second time. The first was when he held a blade at my neck.
I swallowed and licked my lips, staring up at him. In the sunlight, his sienna eyes were married to lighter hues, flecks of color reminding me of a copper penny. There was a glint in them, as if he were privy to something I wasn’t.
Our moment was broken by Addy and Zane rounding the SUV hand in hand. Behind them were Greer and Trix.
“We’re gonna head inside.” Zane nodded his head in the direction of the rundown café he’d parked in front of.
Supposedly, the man we were searching for was a panhandler named Buddy, and a frequent flyer here.
By panhandler, I meant he was a man who pawned off whatever he could for money or exclusive goods. In this instance, he’d sold off Ace and Darrian. I honestly couldn’t care less if we found Zane’s old fling or not. Seriously, fuck her. Ace, on the other hand, deserved to be located.
