Her throat worked, her nostrils flared, and there was a moment I was sure she would burst into tears.“I’m here with you,” I reminded her, finding her hand in the blankets and closing mine around it.“You don’t have to be afraid.You’re safe here.”
“Thank you.”Her apologetic smile was brief.“When Nico found me in Dad’s office and made sure I got on the elevator, he stopped me.And he said something.I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.There’s literally no other way to explain it.”
“What did he say?”And how much longer would I have to wait until I had this son of a bitch killed?Had I ever ordered a hit before?No, not even close.It wasn’t my style.But the bastard was tempting me.
“He said something about being a smart girl.And how my mom thought she was a smart girl too.”Drawing a shaky breath, she concluded, “And look what happened to her.”
My stomach dropped in time with a surge of pressure in my skull.The motherfucker.“No fucking way.”
Her head bobbed.“Wouldn’t it be a shame if I disappeared too?”She rolled onto her side, facing me, her head propped on her hand.“I’m not crazy, right?There aren’t many ways you can take something like that.”I almost hated how young and desperate she sounded now.Looking for an explanation, a way of explaining all of it that wouldn’t point to the most obvious and ugliest conclusion.
“No,” I told her, and not without a touch of sorrow.“You’re not crazy.”
“And things got weird before she left.It’s amazing,” she mused, chewing on her lip.“It’s like learning one little thing makes the past look different.I remember everything, but now it all looks different.She would stay up really late at night, which she never used to do.I woke up and went downstairs to get water one night, and she was in the kitchen, crying at the table.And there were other times when I would overhear her fighting with Dad.They both tried to whisper so I wouldn’t know what they were saying, but I remember something about him needing to stop.Now that she knew, he needed to stop.”
Lowering her gaze to the mattress, she whispered, “I always thought maybe he was having an affair, seeing other women on the side.That was why she left.It was what I had to tell myself.”
“That could still be a possibility,” I pointed out, though I didn’t believe a word.The kind of shit Riccardo was into, a man didn’t suddenly wake up one day and decide to try.Odds were, he had been knee-deep in shady shit his daughter’s entire life, probably longer.He was good at covering his tracks, but his reputation existed for a reason.A daddy’s girl like Nova would brush off anything like that, insisting she knew him better than the rest of the world.
“But do you really think so?Because I’m starting to wonder if Nico had her killed.”She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, her chin quivering, her voice breaking.
Did I think Nico had her killed?Maybe.But he didn’t do it alone.That was what I chose to keep to myself in favor of gathering Nova in my arms.She rested her head against my bare skin, dampening it, pounding lightly against my chest with her fist before winding her arm around me and gripping my shoulder tight.“What if she’s been dead all this time, and I never knew?It makes more sense than her walking away from me without saying goodbye.”
Still, knowing what she knew about her dad, she refused to land on the most obvious conclusion—that it wasn’t Nico who called the hit.Riccardo had a habit of looking the other way, letting Nico do the dirty work.I couldn’t imagine the loyal right-hand man overstepping his bounds like that, having his boss’s wife murdered, not without the go-ahead.There was a certain code men like him employed when it came to women and children.They thought it made them honorable.Nothing could’ve been further from the truth.
“I’m here,” I told her.“I’m with you.You’re not alone.”
“That’s just it.I feel alone,” she insisted.“Everything I thought I knew, it’s all a lie.I don’t even know anymore if my dad loves me.How can he love me and lie to me?He’s not the man I thought he was.It’s been my goal for years to take over the casino when he’s gone, but I can’t imagine spending a minute there with him anymore…” she paused to draw a deep, shuddering breath, “… and I hate him for it.I hate him for taking all those memories and twisting them around.And the happy memories with Mom.All the weekends we spent in Primm at our vacation house.I can’t see any of it the same now.Ihatehim for taking all of it away.”
Her honesty was refreshing after days of tiptoeing around the truth, refusing to admit what she’d already known.“I’m glad to hear you say that.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re being honest.It’s all right to be honest.You’re allowed to be mad and hate him.It’s better for you to admit it than to pretend you don’t.”
Pulling her head back, she somehow managed a skeptical look.Considering she was mussed, tear-stained, and bloodshot, it was no easy feat.“You sound like a therapist.”
“I’ve been in treatment.There’s nothing to be ashamed of.I had some shit I needed to work through, too,” I told her, brushing loose strands of hair away from her forehead.She leaned into my touch, and I kept going, knowing it relaxed her.“And for what it’s worth, my mom didn’t bother showing up for Dad’s funeral.Not even to support me.She did call, though, but she made sure to do it in the middle of the night so I wouldn’t answer, and she could get away with a voicemail.”
Nova was now the only other person who knew that.I hadn’t told my friends, the people I was closest to, out of… what, shame?I was ashamed my mother didn’t care about me.I was part of the reason she left in the first place, or so she’d told me at the time.The bad seed.The problem child.I was growing up in Dad’s footsteps, bound to become the kind of man he was.
Maybe that was why Dad was so smug over Riccardo’s misfortune.In Dad’s eyes, Riccardo only had himself to blame, whereas some of the blame for my mom leaving him could be laid on me.
“I’m sorry.She shouldn’t have done that to you.”Her palm touched my cheek, her fingertips moving in my hair.Searching my face, looking for answers, comfort, and I wanted to give it to her—all of that and more.
“Parents, huh?They can really fuck you up.”Pressing my lips to her forehead, I murmured, “You turned out pretty okay despite everything.You’re a good person, Nova.”
Shuddering against me, she asked, “Even if I go to the police with what I know?”
Fuck.Such heavy questions at a late hour.“Don’t pressure yourself to make up your mind now.But yes.You would still be a good person even if you went to the police.”
I hated the fucker for doing this to her.Putting her in this position.At least imagining all the painful things I’d like to do to Riccardo and his errand boy pulled focus from how tempting it was to hold her this close, curled up in my arms.
“Why?”The question was soft, foggy like she was already falling asleep but needed to know.“Why are you doing all of this?We’re only married on paper…”
Good question.I didn’t have an answer.Though reflecting on it meant almost being able to forget the sweet oblivion her body promised in favor of holding her while she drifted off to sleep again.
Almost.
