AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yes.”
Oh no, Gavin, no.
“I understand why you need to maintain that image after everything you went through as a child. But I married perfection once,” I say slowly. “I won’t do it again.”
“We both know I possess a long list of faults,” he challenges.
“But you are determined to convince the world that you’re perfect even when you feel broken.”
“You’re going to tell me how I feel?” He raises his hands over his head and turns away from me, running his fingers through his hair. “It’s a good idea, dammit. You’re falling for me.”
“I am,” I admit. “But I think you’re too busy trying to hide your past behind money and status.”
He turns again, facing me as he lowers his arms. “You won’t marry me because I’m rich? Because other people, other women, find me attractive?”
“I won’t marry you because your happiness is directly linked, hell it’s bonded to your ability to control everything in your life, including your past.”
His eyes widen at my PG curse word, but he doesn’t say anything, which is good because I’m just getting started. The rich, desirable Gavin Black wants to know why I won’t melt to pieces because he offered to marry me? He thinks I’m crazy for turning d
own a proposal just as fake as our engagement?
I inhale sharply. “You’re right. I’ve fallen in love with you. I’ve also learned from my past. I’m not the woman who said yes to her ex-husband so many times that I forgot I had any wants and desires of my own—”
“Mr. Mistake has nothing to with this,” Gavin snaps.
“He does,” I insist. “He’s part of my past. That awful marriage, that happened to me. And I need to remember it, because next time? If I ever say yes to another marriage proposal—a real one, not the panicked suggestion you just tossed out—I need to be loved for who I really am. I’m done hiding.”
“You’re saying no because you don’t like the way I proposed?” He lowers down to one knee and looks up at me. I can see the desperation staring back at me. It’s like he’s standing in a river and his past is rushing toward him, threatening to pull him under. And I’m the branch he’s clinging to save him. But that’s not how we conquer this river.
“Fuck, Kayla. Is this better?”
“You think you’re making choices that will preserve your happiness, but they won’t. You’re hiding who you really are with this crazy need to bury Terrance Montgomery at all costs. And if I say yes, it will control me too. And I’m done being controlled. I will not be molded to fit your image, or save your reputation.”
Slowly, he rises. His face has gone pale as he murmurs, “You’re right.”
“You deserve that too, you know. To be loved for more than your billionaire status.”
“It has taken everything for me to get here.” He looks me straight in the eye. He’s not begging anymore. His brow is locked in a deep furrow shaped by a misery and pain I know I’ll never fully understand. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try.
“I don’t want to be loved for who I was back then,” he adds.
“You don’t think Terrance Montgomery was worthy of love,” I say softly. My heart breaks a little at the thought.
“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t exist anymore. And I’m not one of your dogs, desperately waiting for you to save me. I run a billionaire-dollar company for fuck’s sake. I’m not some rescue project, begging for a place in the falling-down barn out there. I’m asking you to marry Gavin Black, your best friend and lover. That’s who I am now. I’m not going to let anyone change that.”
I take a step back, surprised by the ferocity of his tone. The dogs notice the extra bite in his words too. Ava lets out a low, warning growl as if she views him as a threat. I reach forward to pet her. Gavin won’t attack me. Not physically. But I think he just broke my heart.
And all the dogs in the world can’t put it back together for me.
“Terrance was my best friend too,” I say softly. “I loved you then. And I love you now. That will never change. But I can’t marry you.”
Then I turn and head for the front stairs. The dogs, minus Rocky who fell asleep at my feet and decided to remain in the kitchen, follow at my heels. I need to pack my bag and get out of here, which involves catching my cats and loading them into carries. So much for a simple exit.
But I should have known when we wrote rule number six that this would never end with a hug and a promise to have dinner the next time Gavin’s in the country. There’s no easy way out of pretending to fall for a man I actually love deeply.
I close the door to the master bedroom. We made love in here hours ago and now it’s over. I’d hoped …
It doesn’t matter now. I pick up my clothes and the few personal items I’d left around the room. It’s time to return to reality.
