Sawyer tackled me to the ground and when I opened my eyes, he was way too up close and personal with me.
“What the fuck, Sawyer?” I yelled at him again, palming his shoulders to push him off of me.
“What the fuck to you, Willawood!” he shouted back, rising to his feet. “You were about to break through my shields!”
“You weren’t dropping them!” I complained as I sat up.
“Weliterallyjust got here,” he huffed. “Why the rush?” He reached a hand out to me and pulled me to my feet. “You're never this eager to practice. Something’s up. What's your problem?”
“I already told you. Nothing,” I snarled.
He threw his hands up in the air. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Maeve. We’re friends, you can talk to me.”
Emotions climbed a ladder up my throat, trying to force themselves out. I tried to swallow them back down, but there were too many. “Can we please just practice,” I begged softly, hoping he’d drop this whole thing if I asked nicely.
He crossed his arms over his chest.
I pouted my lips and crossed my arms as well. “Do I really have to say it?”
I shouldn't have had to. He should know from my daily interrogation that I was worried about Sebastian. Actually,worriedwasn't even the right word. I was catastrophicallyterrified. Every waking moment was spent agonizing over him and the prophecy, and it was overwhelmingly exhausting.
I spun on my heel, putting my back towards my friend. “Two months. I haven't heard from Sebastian in two months.” Not a letter. No indication that he was even still alive. Nothing. I wiped a salty tear away before Sawyer could see it. Damn my eyes for being so weak.
Sawyer’s hand patted my shoulder. “You know, I'm scared, too,” he said.
His words granted me some compassion, and I felt a slight bit of shame for treating him so poorly tonight. Sometimes I forgot that he was missing someone, too. Two someones, rather.
I turned back towards him, letting his hand fall from my shoulder. There was a gleam of wetness in his eyes, and I wondered if his emotions had been just as untamed as mine.
My sympathy was short-lived. I didn't need a heart-to-heart right now. I needed a distraction.
I only needed to ask once more before he gave in. “Now please, just drop your shields.”
“I knowhe's not here, but we should celebrate anyway.” Pia raised a bottle of whiskey in the air, then dropped it to her lips. Today was Sebastian's birthday.
“Turning twenty-six in the middle of battle,” Sawyer shook his head as he took a slug from the bottle. “What a pitiful fucking excuse of a birthday party.”
Kohen chuckled as he was handed the whiskey. “Sure is.” He took a sip. “I’ll make sure to let him know when he's back that we celebrated for him by sharing his favorite drink.”
He passed the bottle out to me, but I dismissed him. “No thanks,” I said quietly. I wasn't in the mood.
“Come on, Maevey baby, you love this stuff,” Sawyer encouraged.
I glared at him, my eyes narrow slits. Gods, Ihatedthat damn nickname. “No.”
“You don't have classes tomorrow, just have a drink with us.” Pia batted her eyes at me.
I knew they were all just trying to get my mind off of things, but it was pretty fucking irritating. They were all acting like everything was fine. Pretending that things were normal and that life wasn’t just one big fucking mess.
“Actually I think I'm just going to go back to my room, I'm pretty tired.” I rose to my feet.
“What? No!” Pia cried out. “You just woke up from a nap, you can't be tired.”
“Yeah, Maeve? What's your problem?” Kohen said only half-jokingly.
“My problem?” I huffed, glancing between the three of them. “It’s pretty fucked up, isn’t it?” I shrugged my shoulders. “To celebrate the birthday of someone who very well could be dead.”
I regretted the words as soon as they left my lips, disgusted at myself for even speaking such a thought into the world. They were all worried about Sebastian, too. And Jocelyn, for that matter. If drinking their worries away helped them, then who was I to take that away from them.
