Ishot upright in my bed, my eyes glued to Sebastian as he slipped into my room. Jaw clenched and white knuckled as he approached, my heart pounded, trying to escape from the dungeon of my ribcage.
He looked the same as when he’d left, aside from his hair desperately needing to be cut. The metal armor plate still covered his chest, which led me to believe that he came straight here when he got back. His battle leathers creased around his thighs as he inched towards me. “Hey,” he announced himself, his voice hoarse and dark.
I climbed free of my sheets and stood at the end of my bed, leaning back against the footboard. Everything that had been building up inside of me for months tried to break free. My body tensed, but this was a battle I shouldn't fight.
Anger. Grief. Depression. Fear. Love. All built up so high that I couldn't control myself. The emotions begged to scatter out of me, so I stopped fighting myself and set them free.
All of my strength came through my biceps as I took a long stride towards Sebastian and shoved him in the chest. He stumbled back a few steps, losing his footing.
“Howcould you!” I screamed, salty tears pouring from my eyes like rivers.
Sebastian held his arms up in surrender and tried to approach me again. “Maeve, let me explain?—”
“NO!” I wailed, pointing a finger at him. “You justleft, without so much as a word! Better yet, youvolunteered!” My fingers grasped at my scalp, tangling in my hair. He reached a hand out for my shoulder, but I turned to avoid it.
Every cell in my body was conflicted, unable to process this. I was relieved that he was back, alive and in one piece. So unbelievably relieved. But I was also so fucking angry that he left in the first place.
“Three months,” I whispered, raising my eyes and three fingers to him. “Three fucking months, of not knowing if you were alive or dead.” I shouted the words, then sucked in a few shuddered breaths to console myself. My body fell onto my mattress, sagging down so that I could place my head in my hands.
He came back.
He was safe.
That was all that mattered right now.
I heard a clang of armor as it hit the floor, then the mattress shifted underneath me. Muscular arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into the chest of the man I had missed for months.
He held me tightly, stroking my hair as I sobbed into his chest. “Shh, baby. Everything is okay.”
He is alive.
I wept in relief for what felt like an hour, though it was only minutes.
“I'm sorry,” Sebastian whispered, and I knew he meant it. “I had to go. I’m one of the best soldiers Caelestis has, and I needed to ensure things were done right. I needed to keep you safe.”
I breathed him in. Despite all the death he just endured, his skin still smelt fresh and crisp, like frost.
“You didn’thaveto leave. You chose to,” I contested.
He breathed deeply, pulling me in closer to him. “I didn't make that decision lightly. I didn’t want to leave you, but I knew you would be safe here with Sawyer.”
I lifted my head up, letting him see the gleam in my eyes. “You didn’t even write.”
“I couldn’t. It’s so much worse than you even realize, Maeve.” Sebastian shook his head. “The Draemornian soldiers retreated for now, but this is not the end of it.”
“What took you so long to get back?” I sniffled.
He pressed his lips together, hesitant to answer me. “I had some things to take care of before I left.”
“Things?”
His brows furrowed, and his face filled with sorrow as he hung his head.Bodies. He meant bodies. He had to bury the corpses of his fellow soldiers.
“Oh.”
He looked back up at me, faking a small smile to show that he was okay. I saw right through it. He fidgeted with his thumbs and looked at me as if he had more to tell me, but didn't want to.
I wasn't sure that I wanted to know, but asked anyway. “What is it?”
