“Maybe it's time to really try and make up with Sawyer,” I suggested. “He could really be useful in this situation.”
“I know.” Sebastian sighed as he moved to his desk and slumped into the chair. “I’ll call a meeting with the other head soldiers. I’ll keep it on the down low.” He pulled his glasses from one of the drawers, sliding the frames onto his face. They made him look so innocent—a trait we both knew he was not. Sebastian had so many sides to him, making it easy to forget that he was one of the most lethal men in our kingdom.
His elbows pressed into the wood and he used a fist to support his chin as he began to write on a piece of parchment.
“You know something is serious when the glasses come out.” I chuckled, trying to clear the air, but instead I cleared my throat when he didn't respond.
He was so absorbed in composing a plan that I wouldn't have been surprised if he forgot I was here.
I gave him a few minutes of quiet before pointing out the obvious. “You seem stressed.”
“I am.”
“Let me help.”
After a brief moment's hesitation, Sebastian spun his chair around, his posture casual with his legs splayed apart. He smiled cockily. “How do you plan to do that?”
My cheeks rounded with my grin. “That's not what I meant.” Though my entire body flushed at the temptation.
His eyes invited me to indulge in a moment of bliss with him, and my lungs snagged on my ribs in response. All it took to turn me on was for him to look at me like that, and he knew it. I almost gave in, but shoved my desire down. We had more dire matters to worry about.
“What are you writing?” I questioned in an attempt to calm the fire blazing in my veins.
Sebastian spun back around with a shrug of his shoulders. “Offer stands,” he mumbled.
I advanced on him, peering over his shoulder at the parchment. “What the hell is that?” I yelled and laughed at the same time.
Sebastian tried to keep a serious face, but failed. “Just a few ideas to keep us safe in the event that war still commences.” His voice shook to try and mask his laughter.
“That'swhat you're going to present at your meeting?” I snatched up the paper. “Lock Maeve and myself in the dungeon where we can spend the entirety of the war pleasuring each other unbothered,” I read the first line out loud then crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it at him. “You should be ashamed, soldier.”
“You didn't even read the rest. There were actually some legitimate ideas there,” he argued, throwing his quill down on the desk.
I rolled my eyes. “Oh yeah, I'm sure there were.”
Our expressions softened as we absorbed one another. Every time we were together, I added a new detail of him to my memory, knowing that things could change in the blink of an eye.
“Come here.” Sebastian patted his lap.
“I don't know if I should. I am having a bit of trouble remembering if you are on the list of people I can trust.”
Sebastian’s lips curved upwards. “Do you need me to write the names down for you?”
Dismissing my joke, I straddled him. Our chests pressed together as I rested my head on his shoulder. His arms held me tightly, and despite the comfort of his scent, my mind still wandered to all of the horrific thoughts that drowned it.
When I released a deep breath, he asked, “What are you agonizing over in that pretty little mind of yours? Reconsidering my offer?”
“Nothing,” I muttered into his shoulder, pulling back afterwards to press a kiss into his jawline.
“You're a bad liar,” he teased with a smile that I didn't return. He adjusted us in the chair, furrowing his eyebrows. “Tell me.”
“I'm scared,” I whispered.
He put a firm hand on the back of my head, gently stroking my hair. “I know.” His breath warmed my neck. “But you don't need to be. Nothing is going to happen to you. I won't allow it.”
Sawyer’s blame was embedded in my brain. “I don't even care about myself anymore. I'm worried about you, my family, and our friends. If it weren't for me, none of the people I care about would be in jeopardy. I can't help but think that removing myself from the equation would solve the problem. That if I handed myself over to Beaumont, this would all be over. Well, not the impending death that's coming for me, but at least the war.”
Sebastian pulled back, and his expression turned sour. Nothing about him has ever scared me, but the seriousness of his voice did when he said, “Do noteversay that again. That will never be an option. Remove that from your list of ideasright now.” He glared at me, not releasing me from the sternness of his gaze until I agreed.
