There was nothing to say. There was another traitor in the kingdom—someone who likely knew me just as well as Edward Fletcher did. Someone else who took it upon themselves to inform the king of Draemor of my name. My powers. Everything they knew about me. What could I possibly say that would change the fact that my world just collapsed under my feet again? Just as I was getting used to the way things were.
I ignored Sebastian's concern and headed back for the bed, fiddling with the rest of my belongings. He sighed, and I recognized his heavy footsteps as they shuffled across the room, stopping at the opposite side of my bed so that he could see my face.
“Can we please talk about this?”
I blinked at him, emotionless.
“You're in shock,” he stated.
Is that why I felt so empty? Shock?
I looked down and continued rummaging through my belongings, pausing when my fingers touched the crumpled book page that had the prophecy written on it.
Sebastian noticed my finding. “You’ve had a lot thrown at you lately, between what my father said to you, then the prophecy, and now this…”
I made back for the desk, shoving the paper into it, then returning to my bed to continue organizing.
Sebastian blew out a breath of frustration at my silence then sat on the edge of my bed. “Okay. I’ll talk then. Here's what happens now. There will be soldiers stationed around the perimeters of the castle grounds at all times in the event that Draemor attacks. We can make the assumption that Caelestis has other traitorous civilians living among us, so we will also be working to remove them. Can you look at me please so I know you're following?”
My head upturned. I could see him, but it was like he wasn't really there.
His ocean eyes narrowed on me. “I know you're not a rule follower, but I need you to be careful, now more than ever. We don't know how Beaumont will react to us denying his offer again, and we need to take every precaution to keep you safe.”
His words were just echoes in the dark cavern of my mind.
“I know that you won't say it, but you're scared that my father will turn you over to Draemor. Please believe me when I tell you that he won't comply. He doesn't trust that a peace treaty would truly be dealt. And regardless, I'm not letting them take you anywhere.”
I couldn't help but wonder if my fate would be better in Draemor. Beaumont extending his offer again made it evident that he was eager to have me under his reign. Would I be granted freedom if I was no longer in Caelestis? Or would the bounds of my control be worse on the other side? Thesethoughts should have rattled my mind, but no fear consumed me.
No anxiety coursed through my brain.
No anger heated my blood.
I couldn't feel anything, and no wonder.
There was nothing left to feel.
I’d experienced it all already. I'd fought with fear and panic from the moment I arrived at the castle. I battled despair and discontent every time I thought of my family. I've pulled on the constraints of my life, bound against my will ever since I met King Hawthorne. None of these feelings were new to me.
“Sit down. Tell me what you're thinking.” Sebastian gestured for the armchair, his brows furrowed with the fear apparent on his face.
I wished he would realize that I was fine—that I was always going to be fine. There was no other choice.
It was apparent that he wasn't going to budge. I assumed he had his mental shields up, but there was only one way to be sure, so I took a gamble and focused all of my attention on calming myself. The act turned out to be pretty easy when emotions didn’t cloud your brain, consuming you.
“Leave,” I demanded with the help of my magic, and because his shields were in fact down, he did.
I didn't fall asleep until almost dawn. My mind whirled but was uncomfortably empty at the same time. I could hardly think straight. Couldn't do anything other than gaze outside. I only truly slept for an hour or two before I was awoken by Sebastian who let himself back into my room.
A moan escaped me, remembering that we had combat training this morning. I sat up in my new bed, which I couldn’t lie—happened to be more comfortable than the one in my old dorm.
“Morning.” He smiled half-heartedly.
“Morning,” I said my first word in half of a day.
I expected him to be angry that I had used my powers on him last night, but I had needed the space. Despite the lack of sleep, I felt a bit better this morning and owed him an apology.
“I'm sorry about last night,” I murmured, looking down at my sheets, embarrassed about how I acted towards him. “It wasn’t you, I just?—”
