“You don’t need to apologize.”
“Yes, I do. I used my magic on you when we weren’t training. It was an abuse of power.”
“I’ve used my magic on you before.”
“That was different,” I replied.
“Maeve, it’s really okay. Please don’t even think about that right now.”
I blew out a breath and sat up a little straighter. “Why weren’t your shields up? I thought you always kept them up when we weren't practicing?”
He shrugged, stepping towards my bed. “It’s different with you.”
Everything is different with you, too.
What would have happened yesterday if Sawyer hadn’t showed up? I had such conflicting ideas about what to do with my feelings for Sebastian. If I acted on them, I risked so much. If I didn't though—that felt like an even bigger risk. Besides, now clearly wasn’t the time to be focusing on men, anyways. I had more important things to worry about. Likemy life.
“Why?” I asked my delayed question.
He moved to sit at the edge of my bed, his vision still clouded with worry for me. He watched me intently, like he was waiting for me to break. Like he was anticipating the contents of my brain to spill out over the bed into a pool of emotions.
“I'm fine,” I assured him, even adding a fake smile to make it more convincing.
“You're so full of it,” he said, shaking his head.
“I swear.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not.”
Sebastian blew out a long, drawn out breath. “How can you just be fine after everything that’s been thrown at you lately?”
I don't know. But you help.
I shrugged my shoulders. “It was only a matter of time before this happened. I would be a fool to believe that King Beaumont would never learn who I was.”
Sebastian laid a hand on top of mine, the warmth of his calloused skin soaking into the softness of mine. “You know you can be honest with me, right? If you aren’t okay?”
“I am being honest. I really just don't want to talk about it anymore.”
“We haven't talked about it at all. This is the first we’ve spoken about it since it actually happened.”
I blinked at him, the rest of my body still.
“Alright.” He released my hand to stand up, towering over where I sat. “I can’t make you talk, but if you need to, I’m here. In the meantime, get your ass up and dressed. We have a training session to get to.”
Chapter
Twenty-Four
The harsh curse of winter struck every time I stepped footoutside of the warmth of indoors. Snow was thickly layered over the sandy beaches, preventing me from enjoying the company of the waves until spring returned.
Caelestis Academy offered all students a winter break, the week off ending with a gala to commemorate a successful first semester. Sebastian convinced the king into allowing me a break from our combat sessions as well, though we weren't able to get away with less wielding sessions. Not that it really mattered—we only practiced every few days, anyway.
Our plan had been working out to my benefit, and I was incredibly thankful to Sebastian for devising it. I was getting a better handle on harnessing my magic, and only having to wield every few days increased my stamina—in return preventing me from getting ill. We did almost get caught once by a bookkeeper who arrived late in the archives, but I threw a simple command at Sebastian to throw them off.
Aside from wielding sessions, I spent most of my break in the comfort of my room, going over and over the words written in Blythe’s prophecy. I'd been racking my brain, tryingto make sense of the ending, but had no success. Sebastian had done some research as well, but we were both at a loss.
