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She held out her hand. “Dance with me?”
“There’s no music.”
“We’ll pretend,” she said. “Please.”
“I don’t dance, Amy.”
“We both know that’s not true,” she teased. She moved closer, invading his space, pressing up against him. “Please, Mark.”
His hands moved to her hips, and he began to sway with her, slow-dancing to an imaginary song. There were things she wanted to tell him, and it was easier like this with her cheek pressed against his chest, unable to see his expression. The lights illuminating the kennel and the strings of Christmas lights lining the tent’s interior had all been removed.
“You deserve a home, Mark,” she said quietly. And I want it to be here. I want to know you’ll come back.
He stiffened but kept dancing. “I’m deployed six months out of the year. When I’m not overseas, I’m training. What I do, it’s a single man’s game. I thought we were clear on the rules.”
“We are,” she said. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re worthy of a real home. People waiting for you to come back—”
“No.” Mark froze, drawing back and looking down at her. “I’ve seen how easily life can slip away and how damn hard the grief is on people left behind. I refuse to do that to someone I care about. I’m not like Darren and his family. I’m not the golden kid everyone will miss.”
Amy stepped back, struck by the forcefulness in his tone. “Appearances can be deceiving.”
“Darren was my best friend for years, Amy. I knew him. He was a good man. He—?
??
“He cheated on me.”
Amy looked down at the grass, feeling her heels sinking into the dirt. Part of her wanted the ground to swallow her up for saying those words out loud. But now that she’d spoken up, revealing the truth about her marriage, about the man she’d loved in what was beginning to feel like another life, she couldn’t hold back. Not anymore.
“He was away so much,” she continued. “Deployed for so long, stationed in California, and I lived here...”
Amy had played through all of the excuses, all the reasons Darren had given her for breaking their marriage vows. But Mark didn’t need to hear them. Judging from the wide-eyed fury on his face, the way his fists clenched at his sides, this was one secret she should have kept under lock and key.
16
MARK HAD SPENT MONTHS wishing his best friend was alive and breathing. He’d wanted to slap him on the back and thank Darren for welcoming him into his family, for the long afternoons spent hiking, for having Mark’s back for so many years when it had felt as if there was no one else he could count on.
But right now, he wanted Darren alive and breathing so he could kick his ass for hurting Amy.
Mark worked alongside men who deployed for months on end, some away from their wives far longer than they’d planned. But they remained steadfast and loyal to their loved ones.
“Whatever excuse Darren gave you...” Mark said, struggling to keep his tone even. He didn’t want to release his temper, not at Amy. The only person who deserved to feel the full force of his fury was dead and buried. “He was wrong. Distance is not a reason to hurt someone you love.”
“I know,” Amy said. “And I forgave him a long time ago. I’ll never know if our marriage would have survived if he’d come back from that last mission alive. I know I wanted him here fighting with me, for us.”
His heart broke for her. She’d told him that day after the funeral that not all of her memories were good, but he never imagined this. He wanted to reach for her, draw her close and hold her tight, but he didn’t trust himself. Not yet.
“When did you find out?” he demanded, trying like hell to erase the razor-sharp edge in his voice. But, shit, it took everything he had not to spin around and take a swing at the wall behind him.
“When he came home before the last mission. Darren wanted to put it behind us, and he promised it would never happen again. I like to believe he was right about that. People make mistakes. Even SEALs.”
“But you still hate hearing everyone talk about him like he was perfect.”
“He wasn’t,” she said softly. “But I can’t tell them that. His mother and his brothers don’t need to know. They’re already hurting so much. I won’t add to their pain.”
“I’m glad you told me.” He buried his burning fury as he drew her close.
“I wasn’t planning to.” She went willingly into his arms, but kept her palms flat against his chest as she looked up at him. “But I couldn’t stand seeing how you keep everyone at arm’s length, refusing to commit to anyone or anyplace because you think you don’t deserve it. You’re not the little boy sitting at the diner counter waiting for someone better than you to take the last piece of chocolate cake.”
