Page 10 of Hockey Nanny

“I don’t know.” I shook my head, dropping my eyes to the floor. “I keep thinking I’m going to screw things up somehow. Like I’m going to say the wrong thing or miss something important. Like I’m not going to be… good enough.” The last part came out quieter than expected, and I hurried to hide the moment of vulnerability under another forced laugh. “Captain of the Vegas Golden Knights, terrified of a kid.”

Carissa’s brows knit together, and I had the uncomfortable feeling I was being analyzed like a bug under a microscope. She tilted her head, frizzed bangs falling over her eyes. “Do you often feel like that? Like you’re not good enough.”

To say her words hit me like a battering ram would have been an understatement. She may as well have shot me through the heart. I straightened up immediately, alarmed at just how quickly she’d disarmed me.

“That came out wrong,” I backtracked, reaching for the cloak of cool composure I usually carried with me during conversations with others. “I’ve just been worried about Henry, is all, what with us being away and—”

“Dawson,” Carissa was still smiling. A sad sort of smile, like she understood all too well. “It’s alright. I think you and I have a lot in common.”

I let out a breath and seized the opening she gave me, steering the conversation around before I landed in uncharted territory. “Yeah?” I tilted my head toward the books on her desk. “Like an excessive and unreasonably strong work ethic?”

Carissa aimed her empty teacup at me. “That and an insanely high tolerance for Boone’s bullshit.”

“It does come in handy,” I nodded along with her. “The guy is extremely annoying.”

“Hey, dude, you’re related to him,” Carissa was quick to point out with a wicked glint in her eyes. “Tell me what that says about you.”

“Oh, please,” I rolled my eyes skyward. “The only thing Boone and I have in common is that we came from the same womb. If we didn’t look identical, I would suspect he was adopted.”

“It’s actually pretty easy to spot the difference.” Carissa suddenly leaned forward, reaching to touch a finger to my nose.“Aside from the hair and the height difference, Boone’s nose is wider, and your smile is completely different from his.”

“My smile?” I crooked a brow, leaning closer despite myself. “Now there’s one I’ve never heard before.”

She didn’t pull her hand back right away; instead, she traced her finger down the side of my face. “Your jawlines are different, too, if you look closely. Your cheekbones are higher.”

“Go on…” I was surprised to find I was enjoying myself, captivated by the curve of her lips.

“Boone smiles like he knows how handsome he is,” Carissa mused, finger running along my jawline to tilt my chin up. “You smile like you don’t.”

I let her angle my face upward, aforementioned smile quirking my lips. “Is that a roundabout way of calling me handsome?”

Her grin was conspiratorial, like we had a secret between the two of us. “Take it however you please, Captain.”

The title of Captain had never done the things it did to me in that moment. The hot spike of attraction that burned through my body, culminating at the point where her fingers brushed lightly along my jaw, was strong enough to snap me back to myself.

Back to reality, where Carissa McCabe was my employee, and I had far too many responsibilities to be flirting on the fringes of arousal. I’d given Boone hell for thirsting after her, and now there I was, one step away from crossing the line I’d so painstakingly drawn in the sand. ‘Hypocrite’ didn’t even begin to cover it.

I pulled back abruptly, and Carissa did the same, and the sudden silence between us felt weighted. I could still feel the flutter of her fingers, like the sensation was burned into my skin.

“I should—” We said it in unison, both of us laughing sheepishly to cover up the subsequent awkwardness.

“I’m gonna go,” I said hurriedly, when Carissa motioned for me to speak first. “Thanks for… it was… yeah, goodnight.” I waved through that horrendous goodbye and quickly backed out of the room.

“Goodnight!” Carissa called after me, nearly falling out of her chair as she struggled to stand up. “See you tomorrow…?”

“Yeah, of course.” I gripped the door handle, risking one last glance at her before closing the door. “Sleep well, Carissa.”

I didn’t wait to hear her reply; I was halfway down the hall in mere moments, head reeling like I’d speed-ran through another training set, and certain of one thing and one thing only. Carissa McCabe was as charming as she was intriguing, and I would have to tread carefully.

5

~

Boone

If I wasn’t worried about my brother’s fast-approaching mental breakdown before, I was now. Ever since Saturday, when we arrived back home, Dawson had been even more uptight and anxious than usual. Even Gage gave him a wide berth, and he was the most temperamental member of the team. That alone was a sure sign that something was seriously wrong.

Home games were usually Dawson’s high points; the guy just played better on familiar turf, but today he was wound tighter than his tape stick, pacing the locker room with stiff, serious commitment. I watched him from the bench as I laced my skates, taking note of all the little details that alluded to his frayed mental state. For example, he had re-laced his own skates at least twice, then once more for good measure.