Page 112 of Reeves

"I'm sorry."

I drag a hand through my hair and lean back in my chair. The plastic legs scrape against the cement patio floor.

"I shouldn't have done that."

Charli wipes her lips with the back of her hand. The simple gesture threatens to bring me to my knees.

"It's fine. I mean… that's what we've always done, right? But we can't do that anymore. Not with Benjy part of the equation, now."

I finish the rest of my beer in one long swallow, needing to occupy my hands. The bottle makes a hollow sound when I set it down on the table.

The silence stretches between us, awkward now, like we've crossed a line neither of us is sure how to step back from. What the fuck was I thinking?

Charli stares out at the dark yard. Her fingers tap against the side of her bottle in a rhythm I remember from college. She used to do that when she was thinking through a problem she couldn't solve.

"We should probably figure out a plan for tomorrow."

"A plan?"

It takes me a second to catch up, going from that kiss to… this. But practical is safer than whatever just happened between us.

"Tomorrow. Getting your truck."

Her shoulders relax slightly. Business. Plans. Things she can control.

"Oh, right. Yes, of course."

"Didn't you say the tow yard opens at eight? I can drive you over after Benjy has breakfast. He usually wakes up pretty early."

"You don't have to drive me if that messes up your Sunday. I can call someone."

"It's no problem at all. Do you have an address?"

"Yeah, I pulled up the website on my phone. Let me grab it."

"Reeves, stop. Is there a plan after you get your truck? Or is this it?"

"I don't know, Charli," I answer her honestly. It's like my brain just stops at whatever is right in front of me. I haven't thought past that. I know I'm leaving on Friday, and when I'm out there in the desert working, that's where I am.

I don't know how to be in both places at once. This started with me wanting to meet him. I didn’t think past that.

"He's going to ask when you're coming back."

"Can I come back?"

The fact that she doesn't answer right away is alarming.

"Do you want to, Reeves? Can you consistently be in his life? Because you can't make him love you and then disappear on him."

I know what she isn't saying. I can't disappear on him like I did to her. If I'm going to keep seeing him, then I have to have some roots. I have to keep coming back.

Two days ago, I didn’t even know I had a son. Now I’m supposed to have a plan. How the hell do you plan for this?

"I can."

The words come out quieter than I expect.

Charli watches me for a second, like she’s trying to decide if that means anything.