Page 73 of Reeves

His father.

Not the man who left. Not the person from my past. Not the complication I've been managing.

His father.

"I know that."

"Do you?"

Mom's voice is gentle but pointed. She's not pushing, just observing.

"I mean, intellectually I know. But before yesterday, he was just a sperm donor. Hell, he still is." I trail off, not sure how to finish that thought.

"I think after today, you and Reeves should discuss what hewants. Maybe it's nothing. But you're both adults. Based on what you're saying about today, it's worth discussing."

Tears well up, but I don't even know what I'm getting emotional about. Of course I'd love for Benjy to have an involved father. But I know Reeves. I know he can't handle staying.

I'm also not sure how I can handle this since it's obvious there are still some unresolved issues between us.

"That scares you," Mom says quietly.

I pick at my thumbnail. The kitchen grows quiet except for the dishwasher and the soft tick of the wall clock.

"A little," I finally admit.

I sinkonto the couch and pull my knees up under my chin.

Mom’s words keep circling in my head.

For more than five years, the fact of his paternity has existed only as a biological detail I could tuck away and ignore. Tonight, it stood in my parents' kitchen, helped my son role-play on the beach, and listened to every word he said like it mattered.

Benjy took to him so easily it almost looked inevitable, like something that had been waiting to happen all along.

He’s already planning their next mission, assuming Reeves will be back tomorrow, like this is the start of something permanent.

What happens when Reeves leaves in a few days?

Mom says we should talk about it and figure out if Reeves wants more time with his son. Maybe there’s some kind of middle ground.

I’m not sure I’m ready for him to suddenly be part of our lives.

Seeing Reeves today stirred things I thought were longburied. The way he listened, the quiet way he stepped in beside Benjy, like it came naturally to him, opened a door in my heart I thought was long sealed.

I didn’t expect that.

The blue nightlight glows down the hallway where Benjy sleeps, probably dreaming about rope snares and pirate treasure. In his mind, tomorrow brings another adventure with someone who finally takes his ideas seriously.

But Reeves is leaving.

His deployment won’t wait for trap-building missions or helicopter books or five-year-old boys who think he hung the moon after one afternoon.

And if I’m not careful, Benjy won’t be the only one getting hurt when he goes.

SEVENTEEN

Reeves

The Children:They appear at the edges of the procession, not knowing the deceased, only knowing the sound, and that they are supposed to follow it.