Outside his dreams, he’d never let himself think about her in such a sexual way before. Never, not when his need for her company was already so powerful. Not when his desire could weaken his resolve to keep his feelings hidden. Now, though…
Now he couldn’t seem to stop.
She mentioned how hot and tight the loft yesterday had been, and he placed himself behind a strategic kitchen counter. She checked the bump on his head, and he wanted to capture those careful, gentle fingers in his mouth. She drifted into the sunlight pouring through his window, and his eyes focused on her sweet, small nipples without any say-so from his conscious brain.
Until yesterday, he’d been a man under complete control. This was a travesty.
After a quick breakfast, they gave Hairy one last rub and Kitty one last respectful nod, and then headed out the door. Soon, thank God, they weren’t going to be alone anymore. Surrounded by the show’s crew, he should be able to regain his equilibrium without any problem.
Neutral. Stay neutral.
That vow of neutrality lasted until they rounded a corner and the next tiny house option came into view, Allie and the crew standing beside it.
His hands clenched on the wheel. “Jesus Christ.”
“I think Jesus abandoned that school bus a few years ago.” She sounded amused but tired. “I appreciate the sentiment, however.”
He parked a good distance from the crew, buying him and Lucy time to talk privately. “You’re very calm about the prospect of Allie pressuring you to buy…that.”
That rust-ridden monstrosity, he wanted to add. But Lucy needed to draw her own conclusions.
“When I couldn’t go back to sleep this morning, I meditated for a while.” Her hand had delved into her pocket, and he knew she was rubbing her amethyst again. Her glasses she might misplace, but never her worry stone. “I decided to stay in the moment and enjoy today.”
He nodded. “Good.”
Until Jarrod, that was how she’d always dealt with her daily life and its stresses: with meditation, warm enthusiasm, and faith that the future would take care of itself if she paid attention to the present. As she’d once explained to him, the worry stone served as a way to ground herself in her senses and bring herself back to the now. It wasn’t meant to be a crutch, but a reminder.
He wasn’t sure it still fulfilled the same purpose these days. After Jarrod, she’d begun to doubt herself, question her own decisions, in a way Sebastián had never seen before. And each time she reached for that worry stone now, the pit of rage in his stomach burned a little hotter.
Not rage at her. Never her.
At that dick she’d dated. At a world that had dimmed her glow, when she was better than all of them. Jarrod. Allie. Sebastián himself.
He would give anything to have that inimitable Lucy shine back. Now.
“Unlike yesterday, I already know what to expect.” She unhooked her seat belt. “If this…um, peach-colored bus doesn’t suit my needs, I know I'll find something that does. I can make this situation work, one way or the other.”
Cracking his car door, he swung a foot onto the parking lot pavement.
“And unlike yesterday, I won’t forget the most important part.” She got out and closed the door behind her. “I’mspending time with you, my favorite person in the world. That’s cause for joy and gratitude, no matter what the day brings.”
Her smile rivaled the sun. He drew in a deep breath, tempted to drop to his knees and give thanks for everything she was. To beg her not to leave him, even though he’d never even hinted that he wanted her to stay.
Instead, he walked beside her to the bus and the waiting crew. And after the hair and makeup lady got through with them both and the cameras and boom mic had been positioned to Jill’s satisfaction, they were back to filming.
“This converted school bus comes in two thousand dollars below your budget, and it boasts 245 square feet of charming living space.” Allie swept a hand toward the bus. “No tiny house could be more portable!”
Lucy shaded her eyes with her hand as she considered the vehicle. “Would I need a commercial driver’s license to bring this with me from state to state?”
“I researched that.” Allie appeared pleased to have been asked the question. “Once a bus has been converted for personal use, you don’t need a special license, although some states may ask you to get a special endorsement.”
“Okay.” Lucy didn’t mention the weird paint color or the rusty spots. Instead, she nodded calmly toward the bus entrance. “Shall we go inside?”
To be fair, the inside of the bus seemed much less cramped than yesterday’s cabin. The passenger seats had all been removed, leaving space for a small living area, a bare-bones kitchen, a private bathroom, and a sunny bedroom in the back of the bus.
All good things. However…
“Is this”—Lucy stepped closer to one of the walls and touched a gray lump with her fingertip—“old gum?”
