Page 147 of Necessary Sins

He supposed David would become aware of his visits eventually, but Joseph was not eager to face the boy.“I think he’s old enough to understand,”Hélène had said. That much was probably true: David had left his childhood beside Independence Rock. Joseph’s sister hadalso implied that their nephew disliked Edward as much as they did. But neither was David reconciled to God. The knowledge that his spiritual advisor was fondling his foster-mother would hardly restore the boy’s faith.

Joseph had done a great deal more fondling than he’d intended for their first night together—less than he’d wanted, but more than he’d intended. Tessa’s willingness to fondlehimwas simultaneously exhilarating and unsettling. It frightened him, how easily he surrendered to it, how quickly and completely his body snatched control from his mind. If he waited for Tessa to return to this bedchamber, they were sure to do more.

One of their guardian angels must have woken Clare as a warning. Joseph should not have needed such divine intervention. He should have been more careful. Hewould bemore careful. He would prove to himself that he could stop. Right now.

Rightnow.

He closed his eyes and steeled himself.

He returned to the méridienne and pulled his boots back on. He retrieved his waistcoat and rebuttoned it, then his coat. His choker had slithered to the floor under the prie-Dieu, and he nearly forgot it.

He crossed the hall as quietly as he could. In the nursery, Tessa’s maid stood with her back to the door, but she turned at Joseph’s approach and smiled a greeting. “Hannah…” he began. He stared down at his hat, uncertain how to proceed. Finally, he said simply: “Thank you.”

She understood. Hannah looked to the easy chair, where Tessa was singing softly in Irish to her daughter. “I know what it’s like to be separated from someone you love. Tessa does all she can for me—I’ll do all I can for her.”

Joseph remained at the threshold. Clare was content now that Tessa had pulled open the neck of her chemise. The baby’s eager mouth concealed Tessa’s nipple, but not the white swell of her breast. No: not truly white, any more than he was truly black. Tessa sat in shadow, but he could still see it: her skin was closer to peach flushed with pink, like the Jaune Desprez.

Barely three years ago, Tessa had longed for death to end her grief. Now, she was pulsing with life, blooming with love before his very eyes, as fresh and new as her daughter—and a thousand times more beautiful than the Virgin in his father’s painting.

In the portrait, Joseph the saint averted his eyes to his prayer book. Joseph the boy had fled to the confessional. Now, Joseph the man lingered and smiled.

When Tessa looked up at him, she saw he was dressed. Her rose mouth turned downward. “Won’t you stay?”

Reluctantly, Joseph shook his head. “Not tonight.” Tomorrow was a rather important Mass.

“But you’ll come back to me, another night?”

“I will.”

They were the words of the Marriage vow.I, Joseph Lazare, take thee, Teresa Conley, for my unlawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse…

The EndofNecessary Sins.