Page 21 of Faking With You

She nods. “I just hope you’re not shying away from what you want,” she says. “I know how insular you can be, don’t let that stop you from going for more with Mac.”

Leaving it at that, she doesn’t push any more. She asks me about my parents, who I’ve barely talked to in the last few weeks. She knows I didn’t remain super close with my parents after high school. We slowly grew apart as they made clear they didn’t agree with some of my choices. I still love them, but we no longer share some of the same beliefs and it’s strained our relationship.

Hannah catches me up about her life, work at the hospital, her and Grayson, and her in-laws. I’ve never seen her as happy as she is now with Grayson, and to think it all happened because they drunkenly got married in Vegas. I listen to everythingHannah says. She luckily keeps my mind off of Mac, but when we’re leaving, my mind is right back on him.

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” she asks.

I blush, and that’s all the confirmation she needs.

“You seem happy,” she muses.

That turns my stomach, because I am happy, but what’s going to happen in five months when this ends?

“Are you guys doing anything for Valentine’s Day?” she asks, and I freeze in place. Valentine’s Day is for real couples, not whatever Mac and I are. We shouldn’t do anything. We should spend the day apart, doing our own things.

“I’m not sure yet,” I say. “What about you and Grayson?”

“We’ve got reservations and then a night in planned.”

I know exactly what she means when she says a night in. I’m sure she’ll have stories the next time we see her.

“Mac hasn’t asked you about it yet?”

I shake my head. “It hasn’t come up. It’s still two weeks away.”

“If he doesn’t ask, you should.”

“Nope. You might be a grab the bull by the horns girl when it comes to dating, I am not.”

“Oh, come on. You’re already dating, why can’t you just ask him?”

“Because if he wanted to do something, he’d ask.”

Hannah rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Fuck the patriarchy and this men should ask bullshit. You’re a strong independent woman. Ask the man.”

I tighten my jacket around myself as a crisp breeze comes through. “I agree, fuck the patriarchy, but also, no, I’m not going to just ask him. I don’t even know if I want to spend one of the most commercialized days out in public full of other people throwing money at corporations who are just looking to make a profit. It’s not even an actual holiday.”

“Okay, no need to get your panties in a twist,” she says, holding her hands up.

I sigh, and my shoulders fall. “Sorry, it’s just been a weird day.”

“It’s okay, babe. I just want you to be happy.”

“I know. I should get home and get some sleep.”

We hug, and she squeezes me just a little tighter than earlier.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says as we part.

I wave and start heading to my apartment. It was such a big step for me just kissing Mac, but that was different. Sex is part of our deal, spending time together for a holiday that celebrates love and couples is not part of that deal. I wish I was as brave as Hannah and could just ask for what I want, even though I know the likelihood of me getting it is next to none.

CHAPTER 17

Mac

The locker room is abuzz as normal as we get ready for our game. I’ve never really participated in the conversation, using the time to get into the right head space before a game, but Josh mentions Valentine’s Day and suddenly I’m not getting into game ready mode, but rather wondering if I should be asking Eliza on a date for that night. Does she even want to spend Valentine’s Day with me? We’re not actually dating, but wouldn’t it also look weird if we don’t spend it together?

I follow the guys out of the room and onto the ice. Eliza waves as we pass them, and I wave back. I skate to the crease and scrape my skates across it. I force myself to push everything but the game out of my mind. I’ve had years of practice at it, but today seems harder for some reason.