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“What do you mean?” She turned her head, scanning my face, but I didn’t offer her any answers.
I hadn’t wanted her to know that I had arranged for her to get her own private room. The thought of her being put on the same floor with all the other food poison patients, with the nurses being run off their asses and unable to keep up with everyone hadn’t sat well with me.
I hadn’t been able to help my mother when she had been sick, but I could do something to make Santana more comfortable while she was in the hospital.
“Kale?” She shifted away from me now to look at me mo
re easily. “What did you do?”
I shrugged. “I’m covering your stay here, doll. No way was I letting them put you downstairs with everyone else. It’s a nightmare down there.”
“You’re the reason I got a private room?” Her voice was a little breathless, but before I could figure out if she was upset or not, she turned back to the doctor. “So, I get to go home tomorrow?”
“If you keep down breakfast, most likely.” He scribbled something on the chart in his hands. “The nurse will bring you in some dinner in a little while. Go slow, but try to eat at least a little of it.” He tapped her on the foot with the chart then headed for the door. “Good evening, Miss Palmer, Mr. Conway.”
“Doctor,” I muttered.
She watched him go, not speaking, even after the door had closed behind him.
“Don’t be mad,” I said when she just sat there. “I only wanted you to be comfortable.”
She blew out a long sigh. “I’m not mad.”
“But you are upset.”
She wouldn’t look at me, and her body was stiff beside mine.
“I don’t know what I am right now.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder and grimaced. “I don’t know what to say. Fuck, I don’t know anything, really.”
I stroked my fingertips over her cheek until I reached her chin, then pulled her face around until she was looking at me. “The only think I want you to know is that I love you. Nothing else matters.” I kissed her, slow and deep. I poured everything I felt for her into that kiss, praying that she understood, that she believed and trusted me.
She kissed me back, her tongue sneaking out to play with mine. We were both lost in it for long minutes, until she pulled back.
Pressing her hands to my chest, she pushed me back. “This isn’t fair. I can’t think when you do this. I need … time.”
My heart sank. “Time for what, doll?”
“To think. To figure everything out.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder again in that adorable way I loved so much. “Everything was dropped on me like a ton of bricks all at once, and I haven’t had a chance to figure out what’s what.”
I scrubbed my hands over my face, telling myself that she was right. She just needed time to get it all straight in her head. She wasn’t going to tell me good-bye. She wasn’t going to throw me out of her life.
“What do you want me to do, Santana? Tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you.”
“Time,” she whispered brokenly. “I just need a little time.”
“H …” I cleared my throat when my voice started to catch. “How much time?”
She bit her bottom lip hard and shrugged. “I don’t know.”
I stood up, needing room to pace, to breathe, before I broke down and begged her to just forgive me.
To love me.
“You’re killing me right now,” I muttered.
Her chin trembled. “I’m sorry.”
“I want to give you what you want, but … I don’t think I can leave you. Not when this is still unfixed.”
