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Seeing me, Colt tosses his phone aside and leans against the bar. His expression is dangerous and I slow my steps. Of the four Hannigan brothers, Colt and Jet are the most alike. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that when one of those boys has that look in his face, it’s never good. Men have been left bloody and broken after facing down that look. “What’s up?” I ask cautiously, wondering who I have to take down to keep him from killing someone.
Colt tilts his shaggy blond head to the left, nodding toward the pool tables in the back. “Moose’s ol’ lady just fucked you over, boss man. Raven knows.”
My jaw constricts as my heart makes a dive for my stomach. Raven knows? No fucking way! Raven couldn’t know. I’m not ready for her to know, dammit. “What, exactly, does Raven know?” I bite out.
That dangerous look never leaves Colt’s eyes. “Not much. Just that you got a kid. That you left for that kid. That you didn’t tell her. So, enough to destroy her.”
“Where is she?”
Colt nods behind him. “Back there. She’s been in there a few minutes now. Might want to be prepared though. I think there are a few knives in the sink.”
I flip him the finger and hurry into the back room. I know Colt hadn’t been kidding about the knife thing, but Raven isn’t even close to the sink. Her hands are empty as she sits down on the edge of the short couch against the opposite wall from the sink. Her face is pale, her eyes empty as if all the life has suddenly been sucked from those green depths. Her hair clings to her damp face, and I realize that she’s been crying.
Fuck! My heart stops at the sight of Raven crying. I cross the room to her and crouch down in front of her. “Raven …”
Her body stiffens, having not even noticed my presence until now. “You have a kid,” she whispers in a voice that’s full of dark emotion, those green eyes staring accusingly up at me.
“Yes.” I’m not going to lie about it. This is not how I had wanted to tell her, but now that she knows I have to confess everything. “A daughter.”
“A daughter,” she repeats, lowering her eyes. “How old is she?”
I push her hair back away from her beautiful face, drying the fresh tears with my thumb. “Lexa is three.” She jerks at the sound of my daughter’s name but nods her head.
“Colt said her mom died. That she was in the Vegas club …”
I grit my teeth at the thought of the woman that had given birth to my precious little girl. Tasha had put Lexa through so much in the few years she had custody. I hadn’t even realized how bad things were for my little girl until I went to pick her up. Hadn’t realized because part of me didn’t really want to know. I sent the support checks and considered my parental obligations taken care of. “Yes, Tasha is dead.” May her soul rot in hell, because I know that's where she was right now! “Yes, half the club was taken out during a raid of their warehouse.”
“Which was why you left.”
I close my eyes, knowing that the answer is complicated. I had left to get my daughter and stayed away out of cowardice. Jet had already filled my head with all kinds of shit, and I never felt worthy of Raven Hannigan. So I chose to stay away, to raise my daughter away from the life I’ve always known and away from the woman I loved. Until Jet had called me from prison.
“It wasn’t like that.” I cup Raven’s chin, forcing her to look at me. “I didn’t leave you for her. I swear to you, that isn’t how it was. Lexa needed me.”
“And I didn’t?” she whispers, new tears gathering in her eyes.
“Have you ever needed anyone, Raven?” I ask, feeling a little defeated because I can tell she’s already pushing me away in those eyes I love so much. “You’re the strongest person I know. I’ve never known you to need anyone.”
“Everyone needs someone, Bash. They can’t always be the strong one. Sometimes even I need someone to hold me.” She pushes my hand away and stands, turning her back on me. “I was sure that you loved me. You acted like you loved me … but maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see.”
“I have always loved you, Raven.”
She doesn’t turn around, but I see her shoulders slump a little. “Empty words now.”
“No!” I don’t mean to shout, don’t mean to sound so harsh, but I can’t help it. “No. I loved you when you came to me at sixteen and told me you were mine. I loved you at seventeen and it was driving me crazy not to be able to touch you. I fucking loved you the first time I kissed you, made love to you, branded you as mine. I loved you when I left and I loved you every day I was gone. Maybe I never said the words but I loved you, Raven. I still love you!”
She doesn’t say anything, just walks away as if I didn’t just rip myself open for her. Muttering a curse, I turn around and punch the wall. I don’t feel the sting of the wood splintering as my fist goes through the wall, don’t feel the throb as knuckles break and flesh tears.
All I can feel is the ache in my chest because I know Raven hates me.
The door opens and Colt sticks his head inside. “She’s gone. Are you going after her?”
I shake my head. “No. Let her calm down a little.” She needs to let it all sink in a little more. Maybe she’ll understand that Lexa was a scared little baby that had needed her father.
“So, you giving up?” Colt steps inside closing the door behind him. “My sister is stubborn. If you want her, then you have to fight for her. Thought you knew that by now.”
I clench my hands into fists. “I’m not fucking giving up! I will fight for that girl until the day I die. She’s mine. Then. Now. Forever. Understand?”
Colt raises a brow, but gives me a cocky smile. “Yeah, boss man. I feel you.”
