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She has to be Willa. All the rumors of how beautiful she is are true. Long, dark hair, big eyes as gray as a stormy sky. Small and curvy. Alabaster skin that’s freaking perfect. And she’s been living with Bash for over a year.
“Get the fuck out!” Bash shouts at Spider.
Spider ignores him as he turns his gaze to me. I bite my lip. As comfortable as we’d been together, he’s never seen me naked before, even though I’ve seen every inch of him. “Are you okay?”
“Um …” I let my eyes move to Bash, who’s surprisingly still rock-hard and deep inside of me. “Pretty good.”
“Did he force you to come home? You can come back to my place if you want.” Spider keeps his gaze on my face, not seeming to notice that I’m naked as the day I was born.
Bash makes a growling noise that vibrates within my entire body. I stroke a hand down his arm in an attempt to calm him. No way do I want him to kill Spider, but I’m positive he will if Spider doesn’t leave soon. “I’ll keep that in mind …” Bash glares at me and I rolled my eyes. “Don’t start. Just because we’ve fucked doesn’t mean we’re back together.”
“From the look of his back, it looks like you did more than fuck.” Willa comments, seeming to have given up on getting her wrist free from Spider’s grip. There’s a sly grin on her face as she tilts her head to examine his back. “Wow. That raven is all kinds of shredded.”
“Shut up, Willa,” Spider snaps without looking at her. “I’ll be downstairs. When you’re ready, we can talk.”
The door slams behind them and I fall back against the pillows. Above me Bash remains completely still, yet completely hard and deep inside me. “Well, are you going to finish fucking me or can I get up?”
Bash’s throat works and he sounds almost strangled as the words leave him. “I don’t want to fuck you, Raven. I want to make love to you. I thought that was what we had been doing all night …”
My heart clenches and I close my eyes to hide from the pain I see shining down at me from those incredible eyes I love so much. “Were we?” I whisper.
“Yes.” He brushes a soft kiss over my closed eyes. “As much as I love you, how could it be called anything else?”
“All I have is your word that you love me.” I open my eyes and meet his gaze. “For me actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words, and so far your actions have only told me that you lust for my body. Other than that you could give a fuck about me and my feelings. So in my book we were just fucking.” I pushed against his chest until he rolled off of me.
“Raven ... What can I do to make you see that I love you?” He demands as I head for the bathroom door across the room. “What do you need from me?”
I pause with my hand on the bathroom door. What do I need? I’m not even sure I know the answer to that. If I did, I’d have gladly given it to him so he could put us both out of our misery and we could move on. Instead, I’m just as lost to the answer to our problem—okay, so it’s my problem. “I don’t know,” I finally tell him honestly. “I really don’t know, Bash.” I turn to face him. “I want the truth. All of it. Every detail. So far all I’ve gotten is bullshit excuses that don’t even scratch the surface. You had a daughter I didn’t know anything about. It wouldn’t have bothered me nearly as much if you had just told me about her in the beginning. I love you enough to accept her. To want to make her my own. But then I found out about Willa and I … What else don’t I know, Bash? What else are you keeping from me?”
“Nothing!” He jumps off the bed and crosses over to me in a matter of a few seconds. “Willa is the only thing I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would react like this. You’re almost irrational when you’re jealous, baby. And believe me, I understand that, because I get homicidal when it comes to you. But there is absolutely nothing else that I have kept from you.”
I want to believe him, want to accept what he’s saying as the truth, but I can’t. Only time will tell.
“I need a shower,” I say, my gaze moving to his still hard dick. “Come wash my back?”
Chapter 18
Raven
My legs are still shaking as I step out of the shower a long while later. Bash left me trembling against the shower wall more than ten minutes ago. “I’ll make pancakes,” he promised with one last lingering kiss before he disappeared.
Somehow I managed to wash during that time, and now I stand in front of the floor-length mirror that’s always been on the back of the bathroom door in what had been my parents’ room. It feels odd being in here when it’s always been off limits growing up. This is my room now, though. Mine and Bash’s.
The few times I’d come in here as a kid, the bathroom had always been a mess. Now it’s spotless with a new shower door as well as a brand new sink. The bedroom has a new king size bed, compared to the smaller queen that had been the same one my dad shared with my mother. The bedding is new too, red and cream colored, complimenting the new burgundy carpet. Bash must have spent a small fortune getting this room in order for us over the last few days.
The smell of frying bacon and the sound of a little girl giggling reaches me as I descended the stairs. The sound makes my heart clench, but not entirely in a bad way. Is it wrong that I’m glad her mother is gone? Does it make me a horrible person that I want to take over that job?
I decide that if it does, I don’t care. I’m a selfish, jealous person. I’m not nice, or necessarily a good person most of the time. I’ll rip a bitch apart with little to no provocation. But I’m going to try hard to be a good mother to Lexa.
Spider is sitting in the living room, and I stop at the bottom of the stairs to look at him. He’s on the long couch sitting on the edge of the cushion with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He looks kind of sick, and I wonder how bad of a hangover he’s fighting.
I move to sit on the coffee table in front of him. Carefully, I touch one of his hands and his head jerks up. When he sees me sitting in front of him his whole body relaxes, if only a little. “Are you okay?”
“Are you okay?” he asks at the same time I did.
I snort. “Maybe. I don’t know yet. You?”
He shrugs. “I’m all kinds of fucked up, Raven.” Spider sits back with a sigh, glaring up at the ceiling as if it kicked his puppy. “I just want to go home and sleep for about a year. Maybe this shit will all go away if I do.”
