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“What are you going to do tonight?” he asked. Instead of getting up like I had expected, he just sat there watching every move I made.
I shrugged. “Probably order a pizza and call Flick. I’ve been doing books all day for the Originals and my head is killing me.”
“Sounds good. I want extra meat on my half.”
I spun around to face him. Those silver eyes blazing down at me from under long sooty lashes. “What?”
“Extra meat, Raven. And some hot wings. Extra hot.” He looked relaxed sitting there watching me, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. As if he hadn’t just shocked me into next week.
“I don’t believe I asked you to join me.” I wanted my voice to be hard and arctic cold. Instead it came out husky and weak as fuck.
Bash’s mouth tilted on the right side in a cocky half-grin. “Are you going to tell me no?”
“I …” I didn’t want to. I didn’t want him to go, didn’t want him to find one of the sheep down at the bar to keep him company tonight, but at the same time I wasn’t sure I could
handle being in the same room with him right now. Not with the house completely empty and my feelings so close to the surface.
“Get me a beer, baby,” he commanded, and before I knew what I was doing I had gone to the fridge and pulled one out for him.
Oh fuck no! As soon as I handed it over I put some distance between us. “I’m not a sheep, Bash, any more than I am your ol’ lady. You want a beer, you get it yourself. But don’t expect me to jump at your every command.”
“I know you aren’t a sheep!” he exploded. “I would kill any man who treated you like one. I just want to spend the evening here with you. Is that too much for you to comprehend, girl?”
I put my hands on my hips glaring down at him. “You could try asking.”
His face hardened and his jaw clenched so hard he was going to break a few teeth. Nostrils flared as he sucked in one deep breath after another. I was sure that he’d jump up and leave me standing there, instead he surprised me further. “Can I stay with you tonight?”
Gaping at the question, I found myself nodding. “Yeah, you can stay.”
Chapter 6
Raven
I blink my eyes, coming back to the present as Bash pulls my Challenger into my driveway and cuts the engine. I hadn’t thought about that night in forever, hadn’t let myself think about any of those nights when Bash would just sit on the couch in my living room eating pizza as we got to know each other on a deeper level.
If I thought I loved Bash before, then I was mistaken. Every Saturday night I fell a little deeper as he wormed himself into a part of my heart that still refuses to kick him out after everything he’s said and done.
“You’re thinking pretty hard over there,” Bash says as he turns in the driver seat to face me.
I shrug. “I’m probably just drunk.” I’m not, but it’s as good an excuse as any. I’m tired and I don’t feel like rehashing the past. I can’t change it any more than he can, so there’s no use in postmortems. I’ve already gotten over him leaving me …
Okay, so that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever uttered. I’m still a fucking mess and don’t think I’ll ever get over Bash walking away from me when my brother practically handed me over on a silver platter. After dishing out Bash’s punishment for daring to touch me, Jet actually gave him his blessing. If anyone could take a beating like that and still come back for more, then he deserved me, or at least that’s what Jet had said at the time.
But Bash left town the next day and no one even knew where he’d went until he called to check in with Uncle Jack a few months ago.
“Raven …” He blew out a long sigh.
“Don’t.” I shook my head. “I really don’t have the energy for this tonight. I might never have the energy for it.”
“I came back, Raven. I’m here for you.”
My heart clenches, wanting his words to be true. But we both know they aren’t. “You came back for the club because Jet wanted you as his replacement and the Originals agreed. I had nothing to do with it.”
“You had everything to do with it!” He explodes, but I don’t flinch. Even in a rage Bash would never lay a hand on me. “If it weren’t for you I never would have accepted the job. You were the reason I said yes, the only fucking reason I would ever step back into this life. Every day for the last fifteen months I’ve missed you to the point of madness. Every day I’ve struggled with myself not to come back and take what is mine.”
“I’m not yours, Bash. You gave me up the day you walked away without a backwards glance.” I tell him calmly even as the tears stung my eyes. “Stop lying to me and especially to yourself. If I meant anything to you, then you wouldn’t have snuck away in the middle of the night like some thief without so much as a goodbye or even a fuck you.”
The car fills with his tension. I can nearly taste his anger. “You think it was easy for me, Raven? You think I didn’t hate myself even as I was passing that stop sign down the road? Do you think I even felt alive when I was so far away from you? You are my soul, girl!”
