SCOUT
I heldmy blanket to my chest and leaned against the wall. Desi was to my right, naked, sitting up as well, and grinning at me. He had a lit cigarette between his lips as he turned back to the cards he had pulled out after we had woken up from our moment of complete vulnerability. He had confessed his crimes, and I, in turn, did the same, giving him all I had—my body.
“Which card did I draw again?” I asked, peering over his bare shoulder. I admired all of his back muscles as I gazed. That was mine. He was mine.
“The Hanged Man.” He took a drag of his cigarette. “What a card.”
“It’s a good thing, though, right? It must be, considering where we are now.”
“Something like that. I’m not paying attention to the cards right now. Not when they pertain to you and me.” He leaned over to plant a kiss on my lips.
“Do you always play with your cards after sex?” I teased.
He looked up at the ceiling, as if in thought. “Yeah, I guess I do. I shuffle my cards any time I’m truly relaxed.”
He was relaxed. But how could he be calm? He had murdered someone. If he was bad, what did that make me?
“What are you going to do about the police?”
His head turned quickly and his silly expression disappeared, replaced by a scowl. He leaned back, careful of the cigarette in his mouth, then put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently.
“Let me worry about that. The police won’t be showing up at your door anymore.”
“Why?” My eyes went wide. “Are you going to…”
“I’m a murderer, not an idiot.” He tried to laugh, but when I didn’t join in, he sighed. “Seriously, I’ve got this handled. They were just trying to shake you down. It’s stupid.”
“What if you go to prison?” My stomach tightened. Desi in handcuffs and a cell? No!
“I’m not!” He chuckled. “Honestly, if they hadn’t had come here, you would have never known, because they have nothing. Just a hunch. Hunches aren’t shit.”
“Desi, can you be serious for a minute?”
“No.” He finished his cigarette and stretched to put the butt in a bottle, and then returned to me. He pulled me into his embrace and rolled on top of me. “Because it’s not serious. It’s over, it’s done. And I don’t stress about the past. I want to live right now.” His hands drifted to the edge of my blanket.
“So, it was just a one-time thing?” I asked, hopeful.
“Scout, this stuff with my family is… complicated.” He sighed and moved off of me. “But I’ve got it.”
“It’s true.” My heart sank.
“What’s true?”
“That you’re in the mafia. Your family is the mafia.”
“Are you—” He waited for me to tell him I was joking, and when I didn’t, his eyes crinkled in amusement. “Oh, okay, you’re serious.” He scrunched up his mouth and nose. “Mafia isn’t really…” He tilted his head. “Okay, maybe a little.”
“Is that why you’re so weird?” I shot at him.
“What do you mean?”
I thought for a moment, choosing my words carefully. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“Well, your job. Do you really work at the dirty movie theater?” I pointed out. “Or what about the private school, and the car, and where you live? You could only afford stuff like that if you had mafia money. That’s why you’re weird.”
“That’s not weird.”
“It’s weird that you want to be with someone like me.” My emotions got the best of me. I finally said what we had both been thinking since day one. I wasn’t good enough for him. I was a charity case, and eventually, he’d get bored and move on to someone from his world. Some rich, mafia princess who could make his family happy.
