Gatsby
The glass fellfrom my hand, shattering on the boat floor. She’d slipped and fallen into the freezing water. The sounds of her screams couldn’t be heard in the rain. And everyone inside the Stanton estate was too busy playing their game of who’s who to come check on her. Without a second thought, I flew to the edge and jumped over into the water.
Daisy!
I kicked furiously and swam to her as fast as I could. Her head kept coming in and out of the water, but she wasn’t able to catch hold of her dock.
Fuck!
My lungs burned, and my muscles screamed as I struggled to reach her. Every time she resurfaced, the fear it might be her last pushed me to move faster. I’d dove in with my suit and shoes, both weighing me down. The rain made it nearly impossible. Finally, just feet away, her head dipped below the water again, and I grabbed her by the waist. My head went under as I kicked, pushing us back toward the dock. With every ounce of strength, I shoved her onto thedock and pulled myself up after her. Wiping my face, I turned to her, rolling her onto her back.
Her eyes were closed, and her lips were blue.
Fuck.
I began compressions, pressing my hands on her chest.
“Daisy, Daisy, don’t do this,” I pleaded as I pumped and pumped, watching her face for movement. I pinched her nose, then pressed my mouth over hers, breathing into her mouth.
Come on, Daisy. Not like this.
I continued compressions and mouth to mouth, and finally, time resumed when she coughed and vomited water. I stopped immediately and grabbed her shoulders, raising her up.
“Daisy, thank fuck.” I exhaled and embraced her tightly. The rain continued to beat down on us, but I didn’t feel anything but her.
“What happened?” she groaned.
“Nothing, love. You’re okay now.” I pressed deeply into her, hoping to stop our shaking. It wasn’t until we were warm that I realized it wasn’t rain on my face but tears.
“Thank you,” she said, pulling away from my embrace. I stiffened. This wasn’t how we were supposed to meet for the first time. Not like this. I was supposed to do a grand gesture, thousands of roses, a string quartet, chocolates. Not her almost drowning, and me being there to save her because I’d been silently watching her from my boat all night. My mind screamed for me to stop her from looking at me, but it was too late.
Daisy stared at me, but her eyes were glossed over. I squinted through the rain. Why was she looking at me like that?
“Who are you?”
“I—”
Before I could answer, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell limp. I caught her before her head hit the wood. I set her down carefully and looked around. What now?
She was safe. She was alive. But I couldn’t be here when she woke up. It was pure luck that she didn’t truly get a good look at me. I wouldn’t get lucky again. I slid my arms under her frame and moved her to the center of the dock. It was wide enough that she wouldn’t simply roll off. I needed to get out of here. The rain was starting to let up, moving from a downpour to a slow drizzle. Could one drown from being left out in the rain?
My guilt was making it difficult to leave her. Could I truly just abandon her simply because this wasn’t the perfect reunion?
No.
I tried. I desperately wanted to, but it was wrong. I didn’t have it in me to simply walk away. But I didn’t know what to do. Leaning against the rail, I pulled her onto my lap and cradled her as the rain slowed.
It felt ironic that this was all I could get. A rain-soaked embrace in the secrecy of a night-time thunderstorm. Would we ever have the privilege of love by daylight? My head swung to the mansion where her fiancé and his friends were having the time of their lives, doing cocaine and comparing business cards as if it meant something. He didn’t give a shit about Daisy. She was just a pretty thing to parade around when he needed it.
The proof was right here in my arms.
He wasn’t coming to look for her.
“Daisy, I-I am so sorry.” Her chest rose and fell slowly in the rain but her eyes remained closed. My gaze followed a particular bead of water traveling from her chin to hercollarbone and then falling down onto my chest. “I should have told you everything. I shouldn’t have let you believe that I was this monster the news painted me to be. I should have let you come see me. I should have—” My voice broke, and I stopped talking.
I should have let her love me.
I was glad it was raining right then. I could hide my tears as I sobbed into her hair.
