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“I’ll meet you for breakfast,” she says to Austin and tilts her head so he can kiss her cheek.
He kisses her, then he mutters, “Got work in the morning. Can’t.”
She gives him a look of disappointment and then her eyes sweep over me before she takes her wheeled suitcase from Austin’s grip and lets go of it. She points it at with her eyes on Andrew.
Andrew takes over her case for her and winks at me.
“We’ll talk about that taste test. See ya around,” he says.
“Okay. Thanks for the sandwich. And the company.”
“Thanks for helpin’ me out, too, by gettin’ it.”
“Can we go now?” Mrs. Carmichael requests, “I will need my luggage.”
“Sorry, ma’am. Right this way.” Andrew leads her toward the waiting taxi.
“It was nice to meet you,” I call out to her again and she looks at me like I’m a crazy person.
Well. Okay, then.
I press the button for the elevator and watch Andrew load Audra Carmichael’s luggage into the trunk of the car.
The elevator doors open so I get in. Austin’s got his back to me. The door is about to close, but Austin’s arm flies up and the doors stop, then open back up.
“Hold up, Jada,” Austin says.
I put my thumb on the door open button with a sigh.
He shoots me a dirty look.
Oh really?
“Hey, thanks,” he says to the returning Andrew and hands him a folded bill.
“My pleasure,” Andrew tips his hat and then leans so he can see me around Austin’s frame. “I start at six tomorrow. Come hang with me if you can.” He gives me a big smile.
I return the smile. “Thanks. I might.”
Austin gets into the elevator and spears me with a look.
I keep the smile firmly fixed on my face while I let go of the button.
And then I let my smile drop and stab the button for our floor with my thumb.
“That looked cozy,” Austin says with a sneer, his eyes pointed at the lights above the doors.
“Not cool, Carmichael,” I say, folding my arms over my chest.
“Huh?” he asks.
“Sending me out for a walk at ten o’clock at night? Where was I supposed to go? Andrew took pity on me and let me hang out with him.”
His face changes. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. My head’s all over the fuckin’ place.”
Well… that’s a surprise. An apology. I was expecting him to castigate me for something, like giving his alcoholic of a mother a glass of wine, after that was what she asked me specifically for.
I decide to say that.
“Next time, I’ll go to my room and put my headphones on so you can have privacy. Deal? And your mother asked for wine,” I say.
“I know. Sorry.”
I scoff. “I’m not in the habit of force-feeding guests alcohol. I asked her what she wanted and-”
“I said I’m sorry, Jada, what do you want, blood?”
My mouth snaps shut, and I continue watching the elevator lights move up with our ascent.
The ding signals our arrival, and then he holds his arm across the doors, gesturing for me to cross over the threshold first. I close my eyes and take that step and then I’m at the apartment door before him.
“Did you just hold your breath and close your eyes getting out of the elevator?”
“None of your business.” I cross my arms and then remember I have a key, so I fish through my jacket pocket for it but he’s faster, so he unlocks the door first.
“Afraid of elevators, too? Like spiders and heights?”
We’re both in the apartment now so he closes the door.
“You can see… there’s a small gap getting off and you can see straight down the elevator shaft. We’re high up; I don’t like it. I close my eyes, so I won’t accidentally look and get the spins.”
He smirks. “Fraidy cat.”
“So what? Lots of things to be afraid of in life. Aren’t you afraid of anything?” I demand.
“Yeah. Lots of things,” he admits, his eyes working over my face.
“Well, goodnight,” I say and head to my room.
And I’m disappointed because he says nothing. Not goodnight, not come here and let me explain why I’m being such an alphahole jerk, not nothing.
My chest feels weighty as I close my door. Thankfully, I get behind that door before my chin trembles.
36
Austin
I lay back in bed and stare at the ceiling.
I’ve barely been able to stand being around myself since all this shit started. Walking around wanting to lash out, like I want everything around me crushed to dust so that something else rises as my new reality. And on top of that, dealing with my mother’s visit tonight. Of course Audra wants to end this crap, find herself some ‘peace’. I still can’t fathom that this bullshit is my life.
Ugliness slithers through me as I stare at the ceiling. Ugliness I don’t want in me.
