Chapter Thirty
Miss Emily chattered about Teddy’s book all the way home, and by the time Caroline returned to Pemberley, her own mind was still so full of inventions and names from history that it took her a moment to register who had opened the front door. Not Mrs Reynolds, but Georgiana, who stared down at her with a scowl more stormy than Caroline had ever seen before.
“How was your outing?” Georgiana asked. Her voice was steady, though the hand which held her cup of tea quivered slightly.
“Excellent.” Caroline swept past her, taking off her gloves and hat with over-exaggerated care. “We had a delicious spread, and I think Miss Chester may soon be married to Lord Ashbrook’s nephew. They are very like-minded young people.” The silence lengthened. “The viscount was a very attentive host,” she added, when it became clear that Miss Darcy did not intend to ask any follow-up questions.
“I am glad that he amused you,” Georgiana said stiffly.
“Indeed, he did. I was most... entertained, all afternoon.” It was a sly comment, to be sure, but it gave her a feeling of satisfaction to see a look of consternation cross Georgiana’s face.Why should I be the only one to suffer here?
Down went the cup, clattering onto the side table in a manner guaranteed to spill, and here Georgiana came across the room, striding as if going into battle. “You,” she breathed, pinning Caroline to the wall, eyes seething with desire. “You were entertained by him, were you?”
Caroline was playing with fire, and she knew it, but Lord, how she needed to feel something burn. “Not nearly as entertained as I could be right now,” she ventured.
This was no longer the heady passion that had once scalded Caroline so blissfully, nor was it the torrent of tenderness from only a few days before. Now, Georgiana looked savage, as if she’d wrapped up whatever weakness she possessed in enough layers to hide it fully from view.
“Upstairs,” Miss Darcy ordered. “Or I shall take you right here on the floor regardless of who sees.”
Caroline couldn’t help a whimper bubbling up. She had just enough sense to consider disobeying, and just enough hope left to give in to the demand without argument. They didn’t even make it as far as the guest room before Georgiana pounced, pushing Caroline hard against the wall, her hands and mouth desperate, drinking every kiss down as if she’d never get another.
Caroline fumbled for the door handle, missed it, and found it on the second try at the exact moment Georgiana’s teeth sank into the flesh of her neck. Gasping, she flung open the door, and they stumbled into the room, still kissing, unable to take their hands off each other for even a moment. She tore at Georgiana’s dress, not caring a whit if it required mending, and Georgiana pushed her backwards onto the bed. Caroline landed with a thump, Miss Darcy on top of her an instant later, hips already rolling in a familiar motion.
“I need—” Caroline choked, everything inside her boiling up into a tangled mess of emotions and desire, “Georgie, I need—”
“Tell me,” Georgiana said, her breath coming in hot pants against Caroline’s neck. She pressed her face into the pillow, sounding half-choked. A woman stretched as taut as a violin string, ready to snap at the slightest provocation. “Whatever you want.”
You, Caroline thought helplessly.Only give me yourself and I should be forever happy.
“Inside,” she panted, and before she could plead, Georgiana was there, exactly where Caroline needed her, sliding in with delicious friction, filling her up with a sensation she could never get enough of, not if she lived a thousand years. When she finished, shuddering, they stayed motionless for long seconds, and just when Caroline opened her mouth to utter a final plea, Georgiana pushed her to the side and slid out of bed, grabbing her petticoat and wriggling into it.
Aghast, Caroline turned to stare at her. “You’re leaving? After we just—” All at once, the floodgates were open, the stream of Caroline’s words building in her throat until she could no longer hold them back. She swung her legs out of bed and stood up, completely naked and blazing with fury. “Absolutely not. I have held my tongue far too long, Georgiana Darcy. You must let me speak before you dare leave me again.”
“I cannot believe you are shouting at me when you have not a stitch of clothing on. Only you would dare do something so utterly ridiculous.” Georgiana paused in the act of picking up her dress from the floor. “And I have never known you to ask permission to speak before.”
“I am not asking it now. I am ordering you to listen to me.”
“Then it seems I have no choice.” Miss Darcy straightened,glaring at Caroline. “Out with it, then. Make your declaration. When are you to marry Lord Ashbrook?”
“What?” Caroline stared, entirely thrown. “How did you—”
“Do not tell me that he did not propose to you today,” Georgiana snarled. “I heard rumours enough at the Percys’ ball that the viscount came looking for a wife and had found himself a suitable bride indeed. Go on, then. Tell me.” Her hands were trembling worse than ever. “Tell me what I already know.”
A Bingley does not run from battle like a coward, Caroline’s father had always said.A Bingley stands their ground and fights.True, this was an unusual sort of battle, but a battle it was, nonetheless.
“You once told me that some people put themselves in discomfort for the sake of others whom they love,” she retorted. Miss Darcy was wearing only her petticoat, just like she had done in Caroline’s dreams about the lake. It was odd, when Caroline thought about it, that she had never felt so much like she was drowning as she did at this very moment, awake and on dry land. “I did not understand what you meant at the time. I mean, I heard the words, but I did not truly comprehend their meaning. I...” She hesitated. “I have lived a very selfish life, Georgie. In fact, I rather revelled in the idea. I thought it something to be proud of, when I know now that nothing could be further from the truth. If you truly do not love me, then say so, and I shall never speak of my feelings again. I shall not pursue you, nor harangue you, nor flirt with you in any way. We shall be friends, though never as we once were. Merely friends. Will that satisfy you?”
Miss Darcy’s jaw worked as if she were grinding her teeth together. “And if I say nothing, will you marry Ashbrook?”
“If you say nothing, whatever I do or do not will be no business of yours.”
Georgiana turned and strode away a few paces, then came hurtling back as if she could not bear to be more than three feet from Caroline. “You delight in cornering me, Miss Bingley!” she cried. “You give me no quarter. Very well, then, I confess it: You have cut through all my defenses with your persistence and your charm and your incessant bloody candour. I have watched you learn and fail and improve and—” Tears spilled down her cheeks as she wrung her hands, the very picture of anguish. “I cherished the acquaintance that I had, but I am utterly besotted with the woman you have become. And I cannot give you up, though I know what that means for us both.” She grabbed Caroline’s hands, pressing them tightly between her own. “I love you, Caroline. I have loved you longer than I knew and in ways I still scarcely understand. Please don’t marry someone else, for I could never bear it. You are mine and I am yours.”
Caroline stared at her. Georgiana stared back, tears dripping onto her bare collarbones.
“Say it again,” Caroline whispered, tugging Georgiana closer. Perhaps she was dreaming now. Perhaps she had simply fantasised the words which she had wanted to hear most in the world.
“I’m sorry for what I said at the Percy ball,” Georgiana said instead, swaying on her feet. “It was awful. You didn’t deserve that. I’ve been so caught up in the past, and I’m—I’m so afraid, Caroline. I feel as if I am walking in darkness, like Orfeo. How can I ever be sure that you’re beside me? How can a person ever truly trust another?”
