I hold firm and stare at him as well, fighting the fear beneath the surface to look away and cower. I narrow my gaze, searching his facial features. You can’t see it if you aren’t looking for it, but a small outline of a cut under his right eye, obviously covered by makeup, where Ben decked him faintly shows. I guarantee there’s significant bruising being covered too.
Good.
I sit up straighter.
I have to conquer this fear of seeing him. I refuse to let him control me.
He looks out at the crowd beaming proudly, acting as if nothing happened and he didn’t try to take advantage of me just last week. What a joke.
Ben’s lips sit in a straight line, his jaw clenched, and his back stick straight, not taking his focus off Jared for a second. I squeeze Ben’s hand twice to let him know I’m okay and to calm down. I take a deep breath and try to stomach Jared’s words as each one grates my ears like knives scratching a dinner plate.
“Living in a world where there is no pain is impossible, but we can choose what we do with that pain. We can use it to prosper, or we can flee from it and drown. Use your choices to your advantage. Remember, you have the ability to change your life at the drop of a hat. Choose to use your pain to your benefit and chase that future you’ve always longed for. It won’t be easy, but the pain will be worth it. Stay strong, stay resilient and chase those dreams.”
Was his speech written that way because he feels regret from what he tried to do to me and all the other women he’s harassed? Doubtful…but I hope so.
After Jared’s speech, we’re called up to the stage one by one to receive our diplomas. Then finally, two grueling hours later we’re able to perform our group celebration of throwing our hats in the air.
I don’t bother finding mine in the crowd and instead walk with Ben over to his parents who… oh God, they’re talking to my parents.
My feet quickly fill with lead. If Ben wasn’t holding my hand and leading me over to them, I would’ve stopped and run the other way. He gives it a squeeze in assurance that everything’s going to be okay like I did with him before. Unfortunately, as we get closer, I’m not so sure.
My dad spots us out of the corner of his eye, his face flashing with anger for a second before returning to normal as he turns back toward Ben’s dad.
“Ben!”
Joan and Koa rush over giving him a big hug and then follow suit with me. My parents stand behind them awkwardly and obviously uncomfortable.
“Congratulations, you two! We’re so proud of you!”
“Thank you so much, Joan and Koa,” I sheepishly reply, trying not to sound too connected to them.
“Thanks Ma and Pop. Love you guys.”
Joan kisses Ben on the cheek while Koa pats him on the back. I step behind them and slowly approach my parents, dread stirring in my gut. My dad’s expression is back to being unreadable, my mom’s uncomfortable. I try to take a calming breath but a heaviness in my lungs restricts me from it, so I settle for the shallow inhale and throw on a fake smile.
“Hi, guys. I did it.” I shyly lift up my diploma and point, trying to get them to talk.
“Congratulations, Charlotte”, my dad responds in a flat tone.
“Yes, congratulations, honey.”
Mom’s tears travel slowly down her cheeks as she gives me a hug, taking my diploma from me and stepping back. The hug feels cold, unfamiliar.
Ben walks up from behind me and places a comforting hand on my back. He throws his other hand out for my dad to shake while keeping the other one pressed against me.
“Mr. Windsor, how are ya?”
Dad shakes it back hesitantly.
“Mrs. Windsor, glad to see ya!” He nods at my mom in acknowledgement, ignoring the tense handshake and looks from my father.
“So, your parents just informed us that you two have been dating for the last week?”
Annddd there it is.
I need to hide. Icannotdeal with whatever’s about to go down. I search around for an escape, but the crowd’s already parting. Maybe I can fit under one of the chairs…
“Yes, sir.”
