Page 15 of From Rome, With Hate

“No.” I roll my eyes, smirking. “None of that. I have no interest in dating anyone, but I won’t lie, it’s been entirely too long since I’ve had sex. I guess that’s why toys were invented, right?”

Charleigh giggles. “Definitely.”

The idea of dating or fucking someone right now when Rome has this debt hanging over me, or the simple fact he appears to be absolutely nowhere but everywhere at the same time, sounds like the last thing I want. I will never be able to move on when the past still clings to my back like a fucking leech.

“I know a lot has changed over the past year and a half,” Charleigh laments. “And you’re right, you have your health and your job. But you also still have us.”

“I know I do.”

“When Asher and I get back from our honeymoon, I think a girls’ night out will be long overdue. The men can have a boys’ night with Luca.”

I grin, only feeling a tad bit better. “Sounds perfect.”

“I love you, Jules.”

“I love you, too, Charleigh.” I’ve never had a better friend than I do her. Of course, I’m close with Selene and London, but Charleigh has been my best friend for years, never seeing me for the money I have or the societal status my name holds. But although Charleigh is practically the sister I never had, there’s still a whole life I’ve lived that she doesn’t know exists.

“Listen, Asher’s heading down the beach now. I’m going to see if he can carry me back to the room. I feel like I could pass out right here.”

“Good luck to Asher if he’s going to carry you through the sand.” I laugh. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Love you,” she sings into the phone.

“Love you, too.” I raise my voice, and her laughter quickly fills the line as Asher clearly catches up to her.

I hang up and stare blankly at my feet still pressed into the foot of Luca’s car seat.

It’s stupid but I can’t get the sound of happiness in Charleigh’s’ voice out of my head. I’m incredibly happy for her.Her love story with Asher hasn’t been easy. They’ve had their fair share of struggles, but I can’t rid myself of this feeling: jealousy.

Jealousy for something I will never have.

I toss my phone onto the cushion beside me and place my hand over my stomach. My fingers feather the emptiness, and when I turn my gaze to my nephew, pressure builds behind my eyes. My throat swells, making it difficult to swallow. Overcome, I sit up and scoop my nephew up into my arms, careful not to stir him too much, knowing it’s risky, but I need to hold him. I cradle him in the crook of my arm. He keeps his eyes closed, and his full bottom lip sticks out. His head turns, burying deeper into my hold.

Just before a tear falls, I snap my head up to the sound of my brother and sister-in-law coming through the front door.

They tiptoe quietly down the hallway before appearing in the living room. Selene’s hands are clasped in front of her as she admires the view.

“Oh, Jules.” She nudges my brother. “Quick, Holt. Take a picture.”

“What?” He looks at his wife, confused. Once he realizes what she means though, he’s scrambling to pull his phone from his pocket. “Oh, yeah, sure.”

He snaps a picture and then Selene starts to cross the room. I stand and pass her son into her arms. She gazes at him with wonder, booping him on the nose with the tip of her finger.

“You’re a wonderful mom, Selene,” I say, softly. “Luca is a lucky boy.”

She looks up, her lips parting into a soft smile. “He is a lucky boy. Especially when he has an aunt like you.”

The tear threatening to fall a few seconds ago finally does. It slips down my cheek, and I’m quick to wipe it away.

Selene uses her free arm to wrap her hand around mine. “Everything okay?”

“Of course.” I blink away more tears and cross the expansive living room to slip on my shoes and gather my keys and purse.

“Are you sure?” Selene asks.

“Yeah.” I inhale sharply. “Long day at work and then babysitting. Besides, I was just watchingTitanicbefore Charleigh called, then you guys walked in. It was at the part where Jack dies, and I was just thinking about it again.”

“I can’t believe you still cry at that movie.” Holt snorts. “You’ve seen it a million times. You know every line, and the ending never changes.”