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“Are you using me as your prey in a secret hunt, and is Geoffrey your unwitting opponent, pleasingly bedridden and unable to partake of the game? Answer me, my lord, for it seems you need to hunt for the sake of your beast more than making love to your betrothed.”
Her anger had grown as she read his tale. At first from disbelief that such men existed, then when she realised that he went into the forest alone to hunt, and probably for some adventure, that he was unable to rid himself of the darkness that lived within his soul. And what of the men who had visited—were they like him, hunters of women? It explained their enigmatic remarks at the dining table.
He jumped to his feet. “No. I have never sought to hunt you and have only bartered with Geoffrey to gain the upper hand in pursuit of a betrothal. The boy is a milksop, can you not see that? What you need is a man.”
“Then answer me—what of the Zalim? Since you refuse to let me sleep with you night after night, is it untameable? For do not lie to me, sir. That creature was what I encountered late in your room, and not the phantom of a nightmare.”
He lowered his head, breathing heavily. “It is a waking nightmare, Matilda, believe me. But I admit I miss the thrill of the chase, the submissive prize, and the base instincts she arouses in me. That is why I am shaped every night into that wildness and must crush it, or else I will be driven to hunt you down.”
And harm me, she thought. But he hadn’t. Even in the tall tower, where he might have unleashed his darker side, he had contained it, permitting him to punish her without breaching her limits. She had suspected very little of his true nature, because she had believed him when he’d showed her the dungeon and why he kept it so. Now, she saw it as a threat, and too dangerous.
“Are you still a hunter of women?” she asked.
His face softened; he had not lost her, yet. “Technically, I’m still a member of the Order, but the last hunt ostracised me, and I’m no longer expected to take part. However, I’m unable to vanquish the Zalim that the Order instilled in their training, and I accept it will be part of me forever in some form or other. I do believe you can help me contain it, by satisfying my urges, and bringing me love, something that the Zalim knows nothing about. All of us hunters have the potential to learn this.” He spoke earnestly, and she believed him.
Slowly, she unravelled her fingers. The crumpled paper relaxed in her palm and she considered all that she had read, and what it meant for them both. She tossed the paper on the fire and seated herself. He copied her. The silence was unearthly, but necessary. He waited patiently.
“Let us talk,” she said finally. She inhaled, searched the deepest part of her mind, and acknowledged what she knew to exist in its recesses. “I am deeply in love with you, Gervais. Of that I am certain. What I felt for Geoffrey is gone. Poor knight, he will be upset. I shall write to him and end any hope he might have for retaining my love. I can only hope he accepts my affections as a friend.”
Gervais visibly showed surprise; his blue-tinted eyes widened and his lower jaw dropped a fraction. “You love me?”
“I am considering staying married.” The thumping of her heart grew louder. “However, I’m horrified by the thought you might resume your... hunting... and that is why the chains and post are there in the dungeon. For do not lie to me, Gervais, the nature of what you unleash can only be satisfied with such a demonic place as that.”
He frowned, contemplating her with a troubled expression woven around the lines under his sleepless eyes. “I was telling you the truth about that room. It is there as a reminder that I have never gone that far. I’m saddened to think that you think otherwise. Yes, Zalims have passions that require a woman to be demure beyond her natural state, but not weak or unwilling. And certainly not taken in abject fear. That is what that dungeon represents. Therefore, I shall strip
it bare and destroy its contents in fire. Will that reassure you?”
She had not expected his solution to be candid. A tiny part of her was disappointed to discover that the nature of his beast was not as despicable as she believed. It was strange to think her wickedness had projected into that dungeon and conjured up a misuse of it. What did it say about her fantasies?
“Yes,” she answered. She pondered what other way they might come to satisfy both their desires without squandering their deepening affection. “Might I make an observation, from my naive position?”
He reached over and took her hand, kissing the fingertips with a brush of his lips. “Please do. I am open to your thoughts.”
“I think, the more you lock me out, the harder it is for you to control that Zalim. In fact, given you spend a good portion of the night hours with me, are you not in control of it already, because you’ve never harmed me beyond what you think is necessary for the purpose of discipline.”
He squeezed her hand. “You think that by letting you stay with me to dawn I will satisfy both man and Zalim? Are you sure, Matilda, that you are willing and able to do both?”
“I’m asking you, sir. Because it seems to me that my words of love might be what helps you. I see the calmness already in your face, the way your kiss my hand with affection. I think you feared otherwise. Burn the dungeon, please. But do not lock yourself out of my life, I beg you.”
He released her hand and stood. For a while, he gazed out of the window where the baking sun was drying the ground into a rock. The midst of summer brought shorter nights, which had to be to her benefit.
Gervais pivoted and resumed his seat. “So be it. But for the first few nights, Lionel will sleep outside, and if needed you can summon him. He is well-versed in the Order and knows why I would ask him to keep watch. He will come if you call and protect you.”
“With good fortune, sir, I hope he won’t be necessary.”
Gervais smiled. “Little merlin, a brave hunter of my love, and I hope that soon I will be able to requite your courage. If you are to reject Geoffrey, then we must pave the way for formalities. In one month, if you haven’t changed your mind, I shall write to your father and announce our marriage.”
She blew out a febrile whistle of air. “Agreed.” Her pulse raced. “And I shan’t change my mind.”
“Good. Tonight shall be the first test.”
“I await with eagerness,” she said truthfully. Her arousal refused to be crushed.
He reached again for her arm, but this time, not for a kiss. He snatched her over to him, upended her over his lap. She squealed, and he held her fast.
“What!”
“This is a reminder, Tilda, that you broke a rule. You opened my door and returned without permission. Regardless of what it has achieved, I cannot let this disobedience pass. It would be remiss of me to do so.”
