Page 48 of Judged by Him

***

Jason saw Andrea shift awkwardly in her seat, her gaze wandering about. It came as no surprise that families were complicated and layered with hidden secrets. He knew Gemma had kept many from her parents and John. If her brother were to know about the rape, he would be filled with fury and impotence, unable to protect her any l

onger and incapable of taking revenge on the dead perpetrator. Jason had much empathy with him with regard to being Gemma’s protector; it was a sentiment he shared.

To return the evening’s pleasant tone, he brought up another subject and then pondered what he had learnt about his wife’s family history. What had it revealed about his wife’s inherent behaviour and mannerisms?

Did John really understand the nature of his and Gemma’s relationship? Unlikely. According to Andrea, John had never said a word about it since the evening when he had witnessed Gemma kneel at Jason’s feet and reveal the fact she was his submissive. No curiosity or fact-finding mission followed on his part, unlike Andrea who regularly e-mailed Gemma and asked after them in terms clearly meant to prise open their relationship further. Jason ensured she kept the information to a minimum.

Hearing Gemma describe John as her childhood chaperone, the issue was clear to Jason: how could John protect a sister who wasn’t his to protect? His brother-in-law, conditioned by his mother, could no longer perform his given role. But was he capable of letting the sentiment go?

It explained why Gemma had kept her distance from John. From all of her family. He understood better why she struggled to tolerate the presence of her protection officers, her innate need to run away and be by herself. Her bodyguards reinstated the constraints imposed upon her as a rebellious teenager.

Jason’s childhood hadn’t been about escaping but taking the diversions offered to him and using them to help control his authoritarian personality. He’d devoured competitive sports with gusto. His athletic physique demanded regular exercise, and his leadership skills tuned his thoughts, stopping him going astray into a world of unruly, mutinous self-destruction.

Gemma’s mother had been the passive, controlling force in her life. Understated and slightly underhanded, his mother-in-law had kept her daughter on a tight leash until she could no longer keep hold of it. The moment the girl left home, Gemma was no longer hers to control. Others did that for her. Men like Jason.

Jason could see the resentment in Gemma’s emotional display. Not only because her education had been defined by her mother, but also because, instead of enjoying a mother-daughter relationship based on friendship and intimacy, Gemma had ended up keeping a distance from her mother. The excuse of her parents’ prudish behaviour had been half of the picture. Gemma’s secret sexual life—the rape and the nature of her relationship with Jason—none of it would be imparted to her mother because she wouldn’t have her mother dictate to her or contrive others to direct her. Yet, it was obvious Gemma needed that kind of person in her life. After all, she had handed control straight to him. His rule over her was even tighter than her mother’s had been.

One thing wasn’t a new revelation: his wife was a consummate attention seeker. The shortening of her skirts, hanging about with boys, and even defying her parents had given her results, made her the centre of their attention. John, the obedient brother, had been tasked with guarding her while her sexually awakening thrived. She had resented her guardian, but she never snubbed his company or sought to fully take on the mantle of a rebellious adolescent child. She hadn’t run away or refused to cooperate with the disciplinary measures inflicted on her. She was a submissive to everyone about her, and she milked the sentiment for all it was worth.

Ordering dessert interrupted a protracted period of silence. By the time fresh wine had been poured by the hovering waiter, Gemma had regained her composure—her trembling fingers quelled and her breathing slower. “What are the plans for tomorrow, Jason?” she tactfully asked.

“Head south. I thought you two girls might enjoy the sun while John and I try out the powerboat. Leo Lubinsky is something of an expert at handling fast boats.”

John’s face lit up at the suggestion.

The evening meal ended, they returned to Sublime. Exchanging pleasantries, they parted company, and Jason led his wife up the private staircase.

***

“What did I tell you about being respectful, Gemma?” Jason asked as they entered their stateroom.

Her knees bent automatically, and she dropped to the floor.

“Well?”

“I didn’t realise it extended to those not present, Sir,” Her tone held a modicum of annoyance, daring under the circumstances.

“Parents always deserve respect, especially when they dote on their children. Your mother loves you very much, and she feared for you as a young woman. She had every right to, as well, didn’t she?” Jason stood over her, arms folded, legs astride. Typically one of his more daunting poses, and yet, it only seemed to inflame her own anger.

“Are you saying if I had let my mother keep me shut up in my bedroom, I wouldn’t have been abused? That I should be grateful she kept me a virtual prisoner in my house?”

Gemma attempted to rise to her feet. She didn’t feel very submissive.

“Don’t be obtuse. She recognised your vulnerabilities, your flaws. The need you have to be wanted and desired by others. The rape was criminal, but your path towards it put you at risk.”

She sprang to her feet and charged at him. “You don’t get to say it’s my fault! You don’t say I’m to blame. You don’t judge me!” She pummelled his chest with her fists until he grabbed them and held them tight.

“I don’t. But neither do you!” He pulled her into a tight embrace. “You don’t blame anyone, Gem, but one person. The man who did it to you. Stop seeking retribution from those who don’t deserve it. That includes yourself. You’re so precious to those who love you. I, your parents, your brother will always want to protect you.”

“I’m not a pathetic victim. I won’t be cast as a casualty of life, Jason. I’m strong, aren’t I?” Her hot face streaked with angry tears.

“You’re strong, babe. I’m not saying you are a weak person. You’re beautiful and tantalising, like a fly trapped in a spider’s web. Men will want you, and I cannot bear anything happening to you. I love you so much. Hearing about your childhood, things you have never spoken about, has made me understand you better. John is ignorant of how you live your life and the risks you have taken in the past to service your needs. Now you are safe, and I will protect you. He will understand, one day, and your mother will hopefully be reassured, too.”

“I can’t tell her. I can’t. She would blame herself, not me, and then I would feel so guilty and—”

“Enough. There is no need for her to know. It would serve no purpose. But you must stop resenting the way she took care of you, the protective cocoon she placed about you. For your whole childhood, you were safe and well looked after. Should you not be grateful?” He wiped her tears with his fingers.

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