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“Your need to dominate took away the insecurities of your formative years,” I ventured.
“I suppose. Magda disagrees. She thinks it is innate in me and it is part of my natural desires regardless of my childhood. But…”
His lack of confidence seemed at odds with the ardor with which he made love to me. I sometimes forgot how young Stefan was in years. I treated him as if he had the maturity of middle age, but in reality, he was finding himself as much as I was.
I had to soothe him as he floundered beneath me. “I admit, I like it—the control thing. As a sexual game. I’m not sure if I would respect it beyond that. I’m used to independence. There have to be boundaries to what we do together.”
“What I have with you is different, Mausi. Yes, I crave the sense of sexual domination, but I have this deeper need for…” He tensed and his heart rate seemed to falter in time with his voice. “You.”
Love. Why couldn’t he speak the word? I founded my reticence on my ability to trust him. His? Commitment, faithfulness. He’d hinted at it and circumvented it being an issue with me. Time would tell whether he could prove his trustworthiness.
Starting now, with two days in Germany.
Chapter Sixteen
I stood before the full-height bathroom mirror and wiped the condensation from the glass. A figure emerged behind the mist—me. A naked me. A few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have inspected my reflection for more than a few seconds, trying not to be judgmental about my weaker areas. Now, I’d grown in confidence. Bending over, I dried my legs, rubbing away the rivulets of water trickling down my thighs. They’d escaped from the bush of hair about my pubis. I pursed my lips.
Standing up, I stared at the reflection and wondered what a fully naked body would look like—naked of all body hairs. The idea intrigued me. Perhaps I’d gone crazy with impulsive acts of courage. First, letting a near stranger fuck me after one serenading clarinet solo, then the flight over to reconcile myself with Stefan when I’d yet to understand what made him the way he was. I’d allowed his dangerous fox’s psyche to seep into my own. I’d discovered a side of me that lay dormant—the daring Callie, chancing risks and putting her faith in another.
I found a razor in my toilet bag and returned to the shower, which I’d just used to wash away the chlorine from the pool. The steam still hovered about the cubicle. I lathered up my pubic hair and, with a few deep breaths, began the process of shaving them away.
I started in the shower then, when I struggled to reach, sat in the bathtub—a truly inelegant method. I concentrated hard as I twisted and contorted. I managed most of it, except the delicate folds around my sex and a small runway strip on my mound, which I debated removing.
“Callie!”
I dropped the razor and it clattered on the ceramic surface of the tub. I held a hand to my beating chest. I answered. “Yes?”
“Do you have what you need in there? You seem to be taking your time.” Stefan’s voice boomed through the door.
“I’m fine,” I shouted over my shoulder.
He rattled the door handle. I’d locked it. “What are you hiding?”
I brushed away the tiny loose hairs. “Hiding? What makes you think I’m hiding?”
“You’ve locked the door.”
“I might be peeing.” I clambered out of the bath and flushed the toilet. “See?”
“Come out.” He thumped the door. “I want to see you.”
I grabbed a towel and draped it around my body, covering my newly shaved parts. “My clothes—”
“You won’t need your clothes.”
Oh, gosh. I tiptoed toward the door, my heartbeat racing away. I clutched the towel closely to my bosom. “You’ve stolen them again, haven’t you?” I yelled.
“We’ve some catching up to do. You won’t need them,” he informed me.
My skin prickled with goosebumps, but I wasn’t cold. His calculating statement sent shivers up my spine. Having shaved my privates, I’d not prepared myself for an inspection by Stefan. What would he think of my impulsive action? I wouldn’t describe myself as a prude, but a naked pussy—what had come over me? I blamed my impetuous ways on sex. It made me lightheaded and pliable. What a hothead I’d become since I’d met Stefan.
“Callie,” he called. “Let me in, or come out. You’re making me horny as hell with this stand off.”
“Don’t you have things to do?” I stroked the handle. The temptation to open the door grew.
“Now that you’re here, I’ve re-prioritized. You’ve hit the top of my to-do list.” He sounded so close, yet remained invisible.
I pictured him with his sparkling eyes, firm chin, perfect nose and… No, stop.
