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“I’ve always run to Jason. My big brother.” Louise gave a whimsical shrug, as if to apologise. “I can talk to him easily. As kids, when he was at Oxford studying, I would ring him every week with my news. He’d listened. His advice was always useful. Then, well, after Michael spilled the beans on him being a....”
I waited but she didn’t say the word. “A Dominant.” I filled in the blank. “Couldn’t you speak to him any longer?”
“Sounds terrible, but I thought he’d become a different person. He was a grown man, not a student, his business taking off like a rocket into space, and his personal life all cloak and dagger stuff. It felt as if he was tutoring me to be....” Again, she faltered mid-sentence.
“Submissive? I don’t think so. I think you’d altered your perception of him, but he hadn’t changed. He knew the family treated him differently. He kept his mouth shut because it was the easiest option for dealing with the issue. Don’t ask, don’t tell.”
“I know. I stopped ringing him. For years, we had this good communication going, and then it ended. I managed, I thought, until that awful business with my creepy ex-boss, Brewer. Jason came back into my life, took care of me.”
“What about your other big brother, Anthony?”
“Ant listens, he’s there for me, but, to be honest, his opinions aren’t always the best. He flies off the handle. If I told him what I told you and Jason, he would tell me to leave Ben, and that would be it. He’s more of knee-jerk man. He and Jason don’t see eye to eye on most things.”
Louise’s insight had piqued my curiosity once again about Jason’s childhood. She’d given me an opening, and I grabbed it. I tried to keep the excitement out of my voice. “Gillian said Jason bullied Anthony when they were kids.”
“Yes. But Ant deserved it sometimes.” I gripped the edge of my seat. This was news. I’d always held the view Louise adored Anthony as much as Jason. I shuffled forward on my seat. “Why?”
She paused, twisting her lips about she considered my question. “He nicked things from Jason’s bedroom without asking. Ant wasn’t a saint. He wound Jason up no end. Jason can be a tad possessive. They were as bad as each other. Jason lost his temper and started bullying. Of course, when Ant’s company went tits up, Jason did a good job of rescuing it. Ant pissed off Jason again by not showing gratitude.”
Had it bothered her, too? “You get on with Anthony though?”
“Yes. I’m not one for taking sides. In any case, they’re both fine with me on their own, same with Michael. Jason and Ant are like chalk and cheese. Michael and I could do no wrong in their eyes; we were the cute younger siblings. He teased me a bit, Jason, that is, but he was never nasty or unkind.”
The complex dynamics of four sibling manifested itself in the constant changes of allegiance. I had one sibling, and my relationship with my brother had survived childhood intact with no bad feelings. Jason could be curt with his words and gave fools short shrift, but I couldn’t imagine him being unkind to his sister.
“Jason isn’t an easy man, but then I suspect he wouldn’t be successful if he didn’t have a hard shell.” I’d no idea if I’d said the right things to Louise. The pensive expression she’d arrived with had returned.
“I miss Jason’s advice, Gemma. When I found out I was pregnant, and Ben didn’t give me a kiss....” She broke down in tears. I moved around and embraced her, letting her pour it all out.
“Ben’s scared,” I declared, trying to console her anxieties. I passed her a box of tissues, and she wiped away the tears, sniffing.
“I know. You’re right.” She looked at her watch. “I should go. I have an early start tomorrow.” Dabbing at her eyes, she rallied and stood up. “I’m fine. Honestly. I’ll ring him.”
After a farewell hug, I rang security and summoned a chauffeur-driven car. She gushed with gratitude not to have to hunt down a taxi.
I sent a text to Jason and, shortly afterwards, the landline rang.
“Is she okay?” Jason asked.
“Not really, but she’s going to ring him.”
“Good. They need to talk.”
“He’s shocked. I mean, the idea of being a father must have taken him by surprise. Don’t you think? It’s a natural reaction to the news.”
The end of the line fell quiet for a few seconds.
I pushed for a response. “I was worried about being a mother, whether I had it in me. Yes, there’s excitement, but you must have had those moments when you wondered, didn’t you?”
“Not really. It was what I planned.”
Another one of Jason’s overtly simplistic statements. It riled me as it made Joshua sound like a tick box on one of his grand schemes. The word made me feel like his incubator and uninvolved in the decision to have a child. We had discussed my coming off the pill—a lengthy chat about timings and the state of my career. Back then, I had no plans to further my artistic ambitions, and we’d assumed I’d continue my job as an asset analyst. In the end, my desire to be a full-fledged artist took wings, and I abandoned my old career.
My annoyance crept unhindered into the tone of my voice. “Planned? You make Joshua sound like a requirement.”
“Meaning?”
“A son to inherit your business.”
