“I started bawling my eyes out mid interview and ended up telling her everything. I don’t know what it was about her, but she just felt…safe, I guess. It was overwhelming and freeing at the same time.”
He lays his hand on my thigh, giving it a squeeze. “I’m happy you found her.”
I take a sip of my coffee then run my fingertips over the lip of the mug, soothing my nerves.
“Me too. Her daughter Colette is my best friend, the one who picked Rune up yesterday. And who you met in the ER. She’s a year younger than me, and she was working at the salon too. She trained me, and Miss Dianna let me stay in the studio apartment above the salon. She was gracious but still made me work for my keep. I was happy about it though because it kept my mind busy.”
He leans in and kisses my cheek then stands and takes my empty plate to the sink and refills my coffee. Sitting back down, he faces me fully, giving me his undivided attention. His eyes urge me to continue.
“I missed you. So much, Ev. But I was also so angry. I didn’t know.” My head falls, heavy with shame that I was so blind.
He doesn’t respond, allowing silence to fill the air and allowing me the courage to continue.
“I almost came back, to find you, to yell at you, to make you hurt like I was. But I was too afraid. Confronting you was scarier to me than raising a child on my own, and I was a coward.”
I let out a sigh. Admitting that truth is difficult but necessary.
“After Rune was born, he became my world. Everything I did revolved around him. He was so perfect. And as he grew, I saw moreof you in him each day. In his kindness, his loyalty, his laugh, his eyes, his…everything. That boy is you in almost every way, Ev, and at first it was so hard to see that. I felt a longing deep in my bones for you every time I looked at him. But then it became a comfort, knowing that I would always have a piece of your love.”
He leans forward, grabbing me by the nape of the neck and gently pressing his forehead to my own. “You don’t have just a piece of my love, Leo. You have all of it. I hope you know that now.”
“I’m beginning to.” I pull back and look at him.
“That really sums it up. It’s just been Rune and me. When he was three, I found this little two bedroom so that he could have his own room and bed. And we have been here since, just enjoying our simple little life. And if he isn’t with me, he is with Cole or Miss Dianna, who he calls Umma ’cause he could never say grandma.” I laugh at that, and so does Ev.
His laughter is such a beautiful light to this somber morning.
“What about you? You clearly never opened your restaurant…”
Those eyes go distant. “No. I didn’t.”
“Why? Part of the reason I was able to cope with leaving was knowing that you would be able to achieve all that you dreamed of.”
He lets go of my leg, wrapping his hand around his mug, and his leg begins to bounce. His jaw tenses, the muscles like a wave over his jaw. He keeps his eyes downcast. “My dream was you, Leo. You’re all I wanted, and then you were gone.”
I know he says he is moving on, but that doesn’t mean he has forgiven me. I can taste it in the air, his animosity toward all that happened.
“I told you, Leo, there is no winning without you, and when you left, I… I was lost. I had no desire to achieve my dreams if you weren't there to celebrate with me. So I followed my parents’ path for me. The easy path that was laid out. I was numb, Leo. Played ball in college then went to med school.”
I wonder if he followed all of his parents’ wishes, but I can’t bring myself to ask about Natasha. I don’t see a ring on his finger, and Ev isn’t the kind to be unfaithful, but eight years is a long time. A lot can happen.
“What made you choose pediatrics?”
He finally looks at me again. “You.”
I was not expecting that answer. “Me?”
“Yeah, I wanted to help kids the way you and Gage never received help. I wanted to be there for them, to save them. But turns out the system is fucked and it’s not as simple as making a report.”
Gage… Fuck. I pang in my chest makes me cringe. Another person I let down.
I more than anyone know how messed up the system is. I know that the system is overwhelmed and the help that is offered is sometimes worse than the original offense. It’s part of the reason I was so terrified of being taken from my mom. I knew what to expect with her. I didn’t know what to expect with strangers.
“Can I ask you something? And you don’t have to answer right now, but I do want to know.”
My heart is racing, and not in a good way, but he deserves honesty. So I nod.
“Why haven’t you contacted Ski? I understand me, after what you thought I had done, but Ski was innocent.”
