He nuzzles his nose into my neck. “I will be. I will be there for every high and every low. If you let me, I’ll be there.”
I don't want to ask him to make promises he can't keep, but I need those words right now. I need to hear him say it. "Do you promise me that you will love me for as long as you can?"
He moves to spin me so I am straddling his lap now. I can feel him under me, his hip bones digging into my thighs in the most painfully pleasurable way. I reach up and trace the small line between his furrowed brows. His piercing green eyes stripping away my fears.
“Hear me when I say this, Leo. I am yours. Even if one day you don't want me anymore, I'll still belong to you. I’m here now. I’ll be here tomorrow. I’ll be here always. All you have to do is take me. You have to be brave enough to jump. I will catch you. But I know one day, I won't have to. One day, you will spread those pretty wings andyou will soar, and I will be watching from the ground. Watching as my little phoenix takes flight like she has always deserved.”
"And if I jump now. Will you catch me?"
"Of course."
A piece of my damaged heart crumbles, allowing my trust in him to burn away my fears. My lips meet his own, and I let him burn me, body, heart and soul.
His golden locks slide through my fingers like water. Our tongues as tangled as his fingers in my curls. His warmth wraps around me, my protector.
Then his hands are on my hips and he is pulling me into him, making my hips dance. I can feel his length under me, and it’s like some hidden part in me rouses. Suddenly, all I need and want is him inside me, his touch in places I have never been touched. I need him to take this from me because it belongs to only him.
The run of his calloused hands under my sweatshirt leaves a trail of goose bumps in their wake. My nails claw at his shoulders. His chest brushes with mine as our entwined bodies move in sync with each other. I want to crawl inside him. I can't get close enough. I need more.
Suddenly, he pulls back, and I fear I’ve gone too far.
“We need to stop, or I am going to rip all these clothes off you and devour you like I have been dreaming about for months now.”
“So devour me.”
His eyes heat. His jaw clenches. A predator who has finally caught his prey. “No, we… I can’t. You deserve for your first time to be somewhere special, somewhere romantic. There needs to be planning involved and wooing and—”
I place my hand over his mouth to shut him up. “I don't need all of that. All I need is you, Ev.” I can see the fight in his eyes, warring inside with what his body wants and what he thinks I want. I give him the push he needs.
"Everett James, listen to me. I want this. I want you. When the day comes and you are no longer mine, give me something that will last forever. Give me a memory that I can escape into. Please."
He comes undone. His eyes blazing, his touch burning. I have ignited him, and he has consumed me in his flames.
He pulls my hoodie over my head, then my shirt, and then unclasps my bra. Before I know it, I’m straddling him with just my jeans and curls to hide me.
Picking me up by my hips, he spins me and lays me down gently so he is on top now, blocking me from the cold November air. He settles between my thighs, and I know without a doubt this is where he belongs. Where he will always belong.
He removes his own hoodie and shirt then begins to kiss down my chest, nipping at my skin and releasing sounds from me I have never made. My yips and moans make him look up at me and smile like the devil himself. I'm suddenly nervous, and my legs and hands begin to shake. What if I'm not good at his? What will he think of my body? I'm not Natasha. I have love handles and cellulite on my thighs. My belly isn't flat. It's soft and squishy.
Before I even know what I am doing, I move my hands to cover myself.
"Don't you fucking dare, pretty bird. I'll trap those hands behind your back if I have to. Let me see you."
I can do this. This is Ev we are talking about. I take a deep breath in and let it out as I close my eyes and move my arms to above my head.
"Better. Now look at me."
And I do. There is no room for stubbornness in his tone. He needs my submission as much as I need to give it to him.
He continues leaving nips and kisses all down my neck and breasts. For a moment, I am lost in his eyes as they hold mine. I'm lost in the feel of his lips and teeth on my skin. Completely lost. Until he freezes over my belly.
“What are these?”
He kisses each mark. Eleven of them. I won't let those memories take this moment from me.
“Phoenix.”
His eyes shoot to mine, leaving my scars. I can see the irritation in them. He wants to know. But I’m not ready. He goes back and kisses them all one more time. He runs his broad hands up the outsides of my thighs and squeezes, releasing his own moan. As if grasping my flesh brings him to the edge. He hooks his long, callused fingers into the waistband of my jeans and panties and pulls. They are tight against my flesh, so I wiggle a little to help him out, and he lets out a sigh. "Fuck, I love the way you move your hips."
