“Please, Everett, let me—finish, please, fuck, just—ugh. I can’t take it!” I practically scream the last part. How can he expect me to form sentences and complete thoughts when he has me held down on a kitchen counter, spread open, with honey coating my skin and his kisses covering every erogenous part of my body!
“We will work on using your words, pretty bird.” The gravel in his voice practically does me in.
Then his fingers are inside me, curling as his tongue circles my clit, and I absolutely detonate. I squeeze my legs together, suffocating him in my thighs, and my toes curl, digging into the muscles of his back. I grip his hair so hard, trying to pull him away. It’s too much; I’m too sensitive.
But he just continues to suck and nip, licking his plate clean.
When the wave of euphoria ebbs, I am left completely and utterly motionless.
He pulls back and kisses me deeply, circling his tongue that was just inside me against my own. The taste of honey and myself, wash over my taste buds.
“My new favorite flavor.” He winks and then pulls me up so I am straddling his waist. Lifting me, he begins walking our entwined bodies upstairs.
“Where are we going?” I ask quietly.
“To the bed. You need to be fucked in a bed.”
After I showered, washing the two sticky flavors from my body, we go to the shop and speak with Ski. He is more than understanding when I tell him what happened. It is hard to talk about. Even with the men I know love me, it feels impossible to fight the demons in my mind that tell me I’m worthless. I’m too damaged to be loved.
I think I break his heart a little when I confess that he is the only person who has shown me kindness in my life—well, until Ev, that is. I think he feels guilty that despite listening to my wishes, he still thinks he should have done more for me. I don't think I will ever be able to convince him that trusting me, showing my kindness, and respecting me is more powerful than anything he could have done.
Having Ev next to me, holding on to my thigh under the table gave me the strength I needed to tell my truth. It felt good letting it all out. Everything that had happened and continues to happen to me. I tell them about my dad leaving my mom and her blaming me.
Ski closes the shop to allow me to vent, and after spending hours telling my story, we spend the rest of the day setting up the office forme to temporarily stay. I asked Ev to stay behind when it was time to go to my home. Despite him knowing everything about me, I still couldn't stand letting him see where I live. As always, he respects my wishes, reluctantly and with a pout, but he still does.
After my mom leaves for work in the city, Ski and I head to the trailer, and I pack a bag of my few belongings. I make two boxes of mac 'n' cheese and put it in the fridge for her. A part of me knows that she won't allow me to stay away for long. In her own way, she is dependent on me. She may not notice my absence for a couple days but she will when the laundry piles up or there isn't any food left in fridge.
The ride back to Ev’s house is quiet. So much has happened yesterday and today. My mind is buzzing. The reality is that Ev and I have many challenges ahead, and it’s utterly terrifying. We are two teenagers trying to navigate adult problems. But let's be honest, I've never thought like or acted like a teenager. I've never had the luxury of that. And now I am dragging Ev into my complicated life.
"Are you okay, Leora?"
I look to Ski, who looks back at me with more love and understanding than I am deserving of.
"I'll be okay. I'm just… scared I guess. There is so much in my life that is uncertain. I've only ever had to worry about me. But now Ev is in my life and I feel a sense of responsibility to keep him safe to."
"That's not your responsibility, sweetie."
"Isn't it though? He didn't choose this. I am a mess, Ski. I bring a mess of baggage with me. It's not his fault I am so… me."
He pulls the car over and brushes the curls out of my face. Similar to how a father would look at their own daughter and his face softens. "But he did. He chose you, Leora. And it was a wise choice. He knows all about where you come from and what you have been through and he is choosing to stay."
A tear falls from my eye, "I wish he would chose someone else."
Ski lets out a big sigh, "We can't help who we love, sweetie. Love isn't a choice, but staying and fighting is. We can chose to take the easy road and sometimes that means we give up the people we love. But we can also choose to take the difficult road, struggling and fighting for the ones we love. And I'll let you in on a little secret, the fight is always worth it."
The silence fills the cab of his truck as I take in his words. Am I strong enough to fight for him? He seems so confident in what he wants. I wish I was brave like him.
"Leora."
I look back to Ski, his face stern again, his eyes challenging me.
"You have to fight. You can't run your entire life. I don't want to see you give up on a love so beautiful because you are scared. That boy is obsessed with you. He loves you. You need to let him."
With that he puts the truck in drive and we continue our ride in silence. I don't know how much fight I have in me.
Getting back to the house, Ev takes my bag to his room, and I follow behind quietly. He gently and silently strips me naked and tucks me into this bed. Then I feel his warm, naked skin pressing against my own. His fingertips tracing my scars. His commanding but gentle lips leaving kisses to my shoulders. Then a soft kiss to mynewest scar on my neck. I feel his soft touches slowly healing my sharp edges.
“I’m in love with you, Leo.”
