Just like our journey to Kirrasia, Kalan chooses a spot, deeming it safe and covered. The stream isn’t far, and he sets about leading the horses to water.
“Calix?” I call to him before he can follow Kalan, and he shifts his feet before he turns to wait as I catch him up. “I never got the opportunity to say thank you. For standing up for me. Forfighting for me. I can’t thank you enough.” The words dry up and crack as the next ones choke in my throat.
“It’s okay, Ever. I’d do it again.” He shrugs, but the humour and confidence that were inherent in Calix are dulled.
“I just… I need you to know that it meant everything that you’d risk that for me. And that I’m so sorry.” I reach for his hand and squeeze it. His eyes flicker, and he turns away, looking off into the gloom. I follow his gaze and see Kyra pulling bags from her horse.
He clamps his other hand around mine, steps forward, and plants a kiss on the top of my head before walking off without another word.
I let out a deep sigh and deflate.
“What was that about?” Ten asks.
“I needed Calix to know how sorry I am. And to thank him.”
“And he kissed you?” He pushes my hair behind my ear, and I see the possessiveness brimming in his gaze.
“I choose to see it that he might not hate me for all of the pain I’ve caused him.” I reach for Ten’s face and cradle it in the palm of my hand, eager to touch him now that I can.
“You can’t take all the responsibility, Ever. What Fenix did isn’t your fault.”
“I know. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel it, though. Come on.”
We all settle in our rudimentary camp, no fire tonight. Apparently, we have to make do without the heat.
But before we contemplate sleep, I want to make sure everyone who is risking their lives for this knows everything that I do. “Thank you. All of you. I know we’ve been over this, and that we all have tasks when we cross the border. However, for those tasks to be a success, we all need to know everything. I won’t keep secrets, and I owe you all so much.” I look around and try to catch everyone’s eyes through the dark. “Who else knows about the battle?” I ask, my focus on Lyle and Kalan.
“Technically, anyone who was there, anyone who was older than a child at the time. But the Orders chose to cover it all up. They’ve lied and manipulated and let people forget. Pretending like it didn’t happen so as not to tempt the Goddess into allowing it to happen again.”
“By bestowing the power of a Fifth?” I check.
“Yes. A Fifth is rare. The Orders bet on there not being another granted by Aslendrix for many years, and that gamble paid off.”
“How do you know all of this if you’ve been gone since then?” Kyra asks Kalan.
“I might be gone, but I’ve been paying attention. More than most.” His eyes rise to me, and I think over what he shared about keeping his vigil.
“And the Orders are just happy to sit in their Tower and ignore what is going on around them? I don’t understand.” Lyle’s voice rises now. “We were always taught that the threats to our way of life came from Sunatora and Nehandun. That their rulers wanted to take our power for themselves. When all along it’s been the Orders wanting to keep our magic and dictate to us?”
“That might be an oversimplified version, but yes. They have been happy to play up the threats from others and assume they would never have to deal with a Fifth uprising again,” Kalan clarifies.
“But we’re going to fight for the Orders, for Kirrasia? We’re going to warn them about Fenix and the Usher?” Kyra questions, and I can see why she’s knitted her brow in confusion. The sides of this fight aren’t clear.
“If I hadn’t seen the true intention of the Usher, I might agree that we’re on the wrong side, and we should be fighting with Fenix. And, when all this settles, maybe there’s another fight to be had, but I know what I saw and what I felt. The Usherdoesn’t want to right the imbalance of power. He wants to take ultimate control over everyone. Everything. He wants Aslendrix and Novandia to bow to him. And he will spill blood and enslave whoever he needs to achieve this. And no matter what is wrong or right in Kirrasia, whatever has gone before, I know that he can’t be allowed to succeed.”
“Yes. But we don’t know who will fight on which side. And we still don’t know how big Fenix’s army actually is,” Kyra continues.
“The Warriors will defend Kirrasia. That’s what we are born to do.” Calix’s words are sure and steadfast.
“And what about the Elementals and Naturals? Those who have been sent to Estereah or Sunatora and Nehandun to keep the peace?” Kyra questions. “We don’t have their allegiance. We don’t have time to call the Warriors back. Are they training in Torizan or stationed in camps?” Kyra’s questions start to gather pace, and the enormity of what we’re going to do begins to stare me in the face.
“We have to try, Kyra.” I turn to my friend. “War is coming. And if I can help, I will. But my decision is mine alone. You’ve all come this far, but no one is forcing you onward. And I’ll face Fenix and the Usher alone if I have to.”
“You are not alone, Ever. Don’t you realise that, yet?” Ten winds his fingers through mine.
“Thank you.”I push the words as hard as I can inside my head, willing them to reach Ten with everything I have, but there’s no reaction or flash of acknowledgement from him.
Maybe there never will be again.
