My body tensed at the image, and my earlier hunger blazed back to life. I should return to the hall, but I couldn’t get my feet to move in that direction. The tents and fire called to me like a siren to a sailor, and I couldn’t resist the call.
I hated myself more with every step I took up the hill. I should be with my friends. I should be strong enough to resist my instincts, but my excitement grew as I walked.
I scented the enticing, musky aroma of sex on the air. My nostrils flared, and I gritted my teeth against my arousal; I could resist this. But why had I come here if it hadn’t been to satisfy the canagh demon clawing ravenously at my chest?
I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it when I started up the hill, but I’d known I couldn’t resist anymore. I was going to join those at the bonfire and lose myself to the pleasure they’d provide me.
I’d gone far longer than I should have without sex, and my body craved the release it would provide. However, I refused to be a slave to my impulses, and after what I’d done to Sarah, I deserved to suffer by depriving myself of the sex canaghs required to survive.
Since Sarah, I went for weeks without sex and only caved when I feared I might accidentally hurt someone. I’d also stuck mostly with nymphs who had experience handling canagh demons.
Arriving at the top of the hill, I passed Kobal’s old tent and continued toward the fire. With every step, I willed myself to turn away, but I stalked onward. The sounds of ecstasy drove me onward as my heart raced and my mouth watered.
It had been almost three weeks since I was last with a woman; it was such a short stretch to be proud of, but it was my longest one since becoming a demon. It may have beentoolong. I felt out of control in a way I never had before. I had to restrain myself from running toward the fire, but I could still control myself at leastthatmuch.
Most canagh demons had sex every day and often multiple times a day, but I hated that I’d become such a slave to a desire I controlled when I was a mortal. I despised that every time I slept with someone, I put them at risk and left them depleted. Even the nymphs with their canagh experience always stumbled from my bed after I absorbed some of their energy. It probably wouldn’t be as bad if I fed more often, but I couldn’t stomach the idea of feeding off someone daily.
I emerged from between the tents to stand at the edge of the circle surrounding the bonfire. In the center of the clearing, the fire crackled, and the scent of burning wood filled the air, but it was the demons and humans gathered there who held my attention.
Some of them wore skimpy clothes that left nothing to the imagination, but most were naked. A small, redheaded demon sat on a tree stump as she played the lute; the instrument’s haunting strains were out of place with the rough rutting of the three demons only five feet away from her.
More demons and humans were scattered around the edges of the clearing, while others were in the shadows of the trees. Two women were on their knees between the legs of a demon with two penises.
I could walk into the clearing and approach any of the female demons, and they would probably let me take them. Demons viewed sex as casual and fun until they bonded with their Chosen. They were with countless others before then, but once they met their Chosen, there was never another for them.
All demons sought was the pleasure sex offered; it was all I wanted too, but whereas I couldn’t get my feet to stop before, they wouldn’t move now that I was here. I wished I could be one of those demons who didn’t require sex to survive. I hated the helplessness that came with this compulsion the most; I lost control of my body when I became a demon.
The self-hatred coiling inside me kept me frozen. I had no doubt my feet would eventually move, or one of the women would approach me, and I would give in to my weakness.
It was going to be an endless immortality if this cycle of self-hatred and denial continued.
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and tugged at the ends of it as my eyes fell on a woman standing across the clearing. She had her arms crossed over her chest and a red cup in hand. An amused smile curved the corners of her lush, pink lips when her brown doe eyes met mine.
The fire danced in her irises as she surveyed me. The movement caused her chocolate hair to sway around her shoulders. The slight up tilt at the end of her slender nose made her more alluring.
She took another sip of her drink and licked the wetness from her lips. I hadn’t considered it possible, but I hardened further as lust hammered through my veins. I forgot all about trying to deny myself as I imagined grasping her hair as I pulled her close for a kiss….
No!
Not a kiss. That could never happen, but I could hold her hair and slide its silky depths through my fingers while I peeled away her clothes to reveal what lay beneath. Unlike everyone else here, she wore a pair of brown pants and a navy blue sweater that fit snugly across her breasts.
Somehow, the clothes were sexier than if she’d been wearing nothing. But then, once she was naked, I probably wouldn’t agree with that anymore.
Extremely beautiful, she looked entirely human, but the raw sexuality oozing from her screamed demon. If she was a human, I couldn’t have her. Demons could handle what I did to them if I kept it in control, but I would never risk being with a human again after Sarah.
The idea of not possessing this woman caused my nails to bite into my palms until they bled. I’d hate to turn her away, but I would if it was necessary.
When she set her cup down on a table by a tent, I braced myself as she sauntered across the clearing toward me.
Chapter Four
Aisling
The man caught my attention the second he emerged from between two tents to stand at the edge of the circle. The other demons didn’t often smile when they came to the bonfire, but they were relaxed and eager to plunge into the hedonism openly offered here. This man looked tormented and lost as he stared at the others with a clenched jaw and sweat beading his brow.
He looked like he was waging war with himself, but what kind of battle could he possibly be fighting? This was a place for fun. Even the humans who came here did so because they were eager to experience the ecstasy the demons so readily offered.
I didn’t know what to make of this guy as I sipped my mjéod and studied him taking in the activities with a look of disgust and yearning. Usually, such a tortured soul would have me walking away. I didn’t have time for someone who didn’t know what they wanted, and if they sought anything more than sex, I had less time for them.
