“I did my best to try to be it for them. Itdidn’t always work.”
“You sacrificed yourself to be theirconscience?”
“I don’t see it as a sacrifice.”
“Father could have kept you from thewar.”
“I know, but I stopped letting you fight mybattles for me centuries ago, and I wasn’t going to let Father doit for me either. Our brothers needed me.”
“I can see the toll the war has taken onyou.”
“Yes, but it was worth it. Orin is stillalive; without me, he wouldn’t be, and you must admit you’regrateful for that.”
“I am, but not at the cost of you or yourrelationship with Father.”
“Father understood.”
“Did he?”
“Yes. He knew why I went; he may not haveliked it, but he understood.”
Cole bent his head into his hands and rubbedat his face. He understood Varo’s reason, but he didn’t like iteither.
“Does Orin know this?” he asked.
“I’m sure he suspects. He’s an asshole, buthe’s not stupid.”
“Very true,” Cole muttered and turned awayfrom his youngest brother.
Learning Varo’s reason for leaving theirfather was annoying him enough that he could feel the shadowsslipping closer. He dried himself and tugged on clothes that weretoo small for him.
He almost ripped the clingy material backoff, but he had to appear as normal as possible when he saw Lexi.But if that was going to happen, he had to go somewhere to settledown first.
“Is there somewhere quiet I can go?” he askedVaro. And once he got there, these fucking clothes were comingoff.
“Don’t you want to see Lexi?”
“Not while I’m in this state. I need to gosomewhere to regain control of myself first.”
“She can help you do that.”
“Most likely, but she can’t see me like this…again.”
“Cole—”
“She already saw far too much in thatballroom and the library. She can’t see any more of me as amonster. Iwon’tallow it.”
Varo sighed and jerked his head toward thedoorway. “I know of a place. Follow me.”
***
Varo led him through the prison and towardthe stairs leading to one of the balconies overlooking the realm.He didn’t take him to the balcony with the whipping wind he loved,because it was so loud there that it often drowned out histhoughts.
Cole had requested quiet, and he could givehim that. He took him to the other side of the prison and thestairs leading to the balcony protected from the wind.
Varo pulled it open when they arrived at thedoor and gestured for Cole to ascend.
“It’s a long climb, but that will probablyhelp to calm you. It’s peaceful up there. I prefer the other sidewhere the wind and the noise cleanse me, but it’s loud. If youthink you might prefer it too, I can take you there instead.”
