“I’ll find you some clothes,” Varo said andleft.
“You can show Brokk and Niall to theirrooms,” Cole said to Orin. “I’ll be here.”
“Fine,” Orin said. “There’s some soap on thesink.”
“Thanks,” Cole muttered.
“Leave your clothes on the floor. I’ll havethem burned.”
When Cole didn’t reply, Orin jerked his headat Brokk and Niall before disappearing from the doorway. It took awhile for Cole to peel his clothes off; he tossed them into thecorner when he finished.
He lifted the bar of soap from the sink,crossed over to the shower, and turned on the water. He hadn’tbothered to close the door, and he didn’t care who saw him inthere.
Using the soap, he scrubbed the blood fromhis skin and hair and watched as the red water flowed down thedrain. Every time he believed there couldn’t be any more blood,more came off him until finally, after what seemed like hours, thewater ran clear.
Even still, he remained beneath the hotspray, with his head bowed and his thoughts a tumbled mess as theshadows called for more blood.
But he couldn’t give them more. He hadnothing left to give.
Now that the adrenaline rush of the fight wasgone, the screams were getting louder in his head. He flexed hisfingers as he felt Malakai’s bones breaking again.
Cole would never regret killing that bastard.He would gladly beat him to death again, but he didn’t like how outof control he was when it happened.
Lexi’s arrival in his life had rattled thedark fae will he’d exerted over his life. She’d awakened the lycanpart of him, stirred its protective instincts, and made it takecontrol in a way it never had before he encountered his mate.
The shadows had shaken his restraint further,and though he relished the rush they gave, he despised their holdon him. He wasn’t entirely sure who had more control anymore;himself or the shadows.
CHAPTER 68
Cole turned the water off and stepped outfrom beneath the spray as Varo returned with clothes and a towel.He tossed the towel to Cole and set the clothes on the sink.
“Are you okay?” Varo asked.
Cole almost said he was fine, but he’d neverbeen able to lie to his youngest brother. “No.”
“How bad is it?” Varo asked.
“I don’t know.”
It killed him to admit that as he lifted hishead to meet Varo’s troubled eyes.
“Can you control this, Cole?”
“I have no other choice.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“That’s because I don’t have an answer. Whydid you choose Orin and our brothers over Father?”
It was a question he’d pondered since thebeginning of their divide. Varo didn’t enjoy the battle or seekpower, unlike his other hotheaded brothers. It would have been bestif he stayed out of the war, something their father could havearranged for him.
“They needed me more,” Varo replied.
“What?”
Varo looked past Cole to the mirror over thesink. “Father had you and Brokk and the others. He had reasonablepeople surrounding him; he was a reasonable, considerate, and kindman. He would never do anything foolish, and if, for some reason,he lost his way, he had you and Brokk to help him through it. Orinand our brothers didn’t have that.”
“So, you became it for them?”
