Page 103 of Blush Crush

“You’re developing feelings for him,” Layla says simply.

I don’t confirm it. I also don’t deny it, which is its own kind of confirmation.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say quickly. “Even if I was—which I’m not saying I am—it wouldn’t change anything. Cole isn’t the kind of person who does this for real. He never has been. He had one serious-ish relationship in his life. He dates casually on purpose. He’s told me himself he doesn’t want to settle down. I’m—” I shake my head— “It’s an arrangement. After the wedding he’ll go back to his life and I’ll go back to mine and that’s the deal we made.”

Layla is silent for a moment like she’s considering her words. “Can I say something?” she asks.

“Go ahead. You’re going to say it anyway.”

“That’s true.” She sets her mug down on the coffee table and pulls one knee up to her chest, turning to face me fully. “I hear everything you’re saying. I do. And I’m not going to tell you Cole is secretly a different person than he’s always been because I don’t know that.” She pauses. “But I also know what you just described to me.” She gives me a softened look. “That’s not nothing, Ari. That’s not how a man behaves when it’s just supposed to be for show. And the fact that he agreed to the lessons so quickly, and has been so patient with you—he might not realize it, but there are feelings there. I think he cares about you, maybe even more than he’s ready to face. You two are playing with fire. Because where’s the line if all you’ve done is blur the shit out of it?”

I don’t say anything. I don’t know what to say.

“Has it occurred to you that maybe this is becoming more? For both of you.”

“No,” I say immediately.

“Why not?”

“Because he’s Cole.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Because guys like Cole don’t—” I stop, searching for the right words. “He’s probably only doing all this because he’s seen me act like an idiot in front of Wes. He feels bad for me. He doesn’t actually want?—”

“Maybe he does now.”

I open my mouth to argue and find I don’t have anything to say.

“And where does Wes fall in all this? Do you even still like him? Because you’ve barely mentioned the guy and I thought he was the reason you wanted this in the first place.”

She’s right. This was all supposed to be about Wes and I’ve barely given him a second thought.

I stare at my tea. It’s gone lukewarm while we’ve been talking but I drink it anyway because I need something to do.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I say quietly.

“I can tell.” Layla’s voice is gentler now. She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “But it’s kind of fun, isn’t it? Being a little reckless. Stepping outside your comfort zone.”

A smile pulls at my lips. It has been fun. The most fun I’ve had in a long time. “Yeah,” I admit, feeling heat come to my face.

“So how many orgasms are we talking?”

I hide behind my giant mug, knowing I’m as red as a tomato. “I don’t know.” I laugh. “I lost count.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” I tell Lina when I get to Novel.

Not only did she open, but she got here early enough to get everything in the prep fridge baked and ready to be served.The cases are fully stocked, the espresso machines have been backflushed, and the shop smells clean and deliciously sweet.

“You look amazing,” Lina says, studying me from behind the counter. “Your skin is glowing.”

“Oh, really?” I touch my face absentmindedly. “I slept in, maybe that’s it.”

“Well, whatever it is, it’s working for you.”

I really don’t deserve her. She does so much for me, going above and beyond anything I could ask of her. I make a mental note to have a check-in with my CPA to move some things around in the budget because she’s definitely getting a raise.

“Hey, you’ve done enough today. Go home. I’ll pay you through the end of your shift.”