I shut down the connection with Riordan the instant the vicious, self-deprecating thought blared into my mind. Hoping he had not seen something I was not yet ready to share with him, I gently broke the frantic kiss so we could both catch our breaths.
“N-not yet,” was all I could think to gasp, and he gave a groan of impatient need.
“I have tasted you, Orion. I needmore,” he demanded. His voice was so deliciously commanding and rough with lust that all I wanted was to sink to my knees for him.
But he would not be like the other lovers I had taken in the years since I left the brothel. I would not be able to set the same kinds of emotional limits with him or continue to conceal my physical scars from him. He was going to be angry about what I’d endured and disappointed in me for not confiding in him sooner. And even though I knew it was unlikely, there was still a kernel of doubt about whether he would be disgusted by me.
“Soon,” I promised, and he nodded reluctantly before drawing in a deep breath to compose himself.
“Does your hesitation have anything to do with what Amira knows about you that I do not?” he guessed.
I closed my eyes and nodded, listening as he heaved a sigh through his nostrils. Then he stepped closer again to press lingering kisses against my forehead and temple.
“I can feel how much you want this,” he informed me. Those words and his fingers trailing down my bare bicep sparked a need for more that was almost undeniable.
“I really do,” I answered, almost breathless as I leaned my head against his shoulder and tried to breathe through the burning ache for him.
“I want this too. I will wait for you to be ready for it, however long that takes, but please…Pleasedo not make me wait too long to finally lay claim to you,” he pleaded. “My sanity cannot bear it.”
I could not hold back a groan when my straining cock throbbed harder, my body, mind, and heart at war with one another. But it was my mind that always won with its agony over how to come to terms with my past so I could finally share my darkest truths with the man I loved.
Chapter four
I NEED BACKUP
Amira
Idid not look up as Riordan entered our chambers much earlier than he had been during the last couple days while he repaired the Vale. I felt him lower the shield that he had erected between us that morning in an attempt to get my attention. But I kept my eyes on the orders that I was still drafting for Dio to take to Erétria. We had a lot to talk about, but after how he had behaved that morning, I was determined to make him wait until I was done working.
Riordan respected my silence and crossed the room to his wardrobe. And then it became impossible to focus on my work while he began removing his cloak and armour. Helping him undress was something I usually took great pleasure in since any and every opportunity to touch that gorgeous body of his needed to be seized.
And he knew that, which meant he was disrobing like that on purpose!
Once he was dressed down in casual linen trousers and nothing more, Riordan approached from behind. My skin was tingling eagerly from his proximity even before he leaned over me. I stilled as he braced his large hands on my desk on either side of me and pressed a lingering kiss against the top of my head.
“Are you too hard at work to talk?” he asked me softly, the sound of his voice rippling through me deliciously.
“I have some things that I need to finish. And then we cantalk,” I answered him, trying to maintain indifference as I leaned over my desk and away from his bare chest.
“I see,” Riordan grunted, and I waited for him to step back to allow me to finish working. Riordan did not often interfere with my schedule, which I typically appreciated, but I found myself disappointed somehow. Some part of me had almost hoped he might…
Before I could reconcile my ridiculous and antithetical thoughts, Riordan was suddenly hauling me up out of my seat like I weighed nothing.
“Riordan—” I cried out in shock as he set me down on top of my desk. He quickly hiked my tight dress up my legs so his hips could get between my thighs. Both hands cupped my jaw, tipping it upward so I was looking at him, and he grinned at my furious glower.
“Do I have your attention now, my love?” he smirked.
Annoyed, but also strangely thankful, I leaned forward and nipped his bottom lip. I bit him hard enough that he flinched, but the retaliation only widened his grin.
“And doIhaveyours?” I retorted.
“You should know you always have my attention.”
“Not today. Today, you shut me out,” I reminded him, betraying my hurt in the cracking sharpness of my tone before I could help myself.
His humour immediately faded, and his thumb brushed my cheek in gentle reverence. “Amira, I am so—”
“I have work to do,” I cut him off and tried to turn my face away and out of his grip.
