“I will be,” he tried to reassure us both. “This feeling is more akin to… mourning. Perhaps time will help it.”
I nodded reluctantly as my eyes dropped down to his chest where our hands still clasped together.
“I will keep trying to ease it. Even if it only brings you a small measure of relief, I will do whatever I can. And… thank you for telling me the truth,” I added tentatively. “No matter what, I want to know your pain.”
I was shocked when I glanced up and saw a shimmer of tears in his eyes. Then he nodded and leaned forward to kiss my lips with heartbreaking tenderness.
“Just being here with you like this is healing for me,” he breathed against my mouth.
I pressed closer so Sage could wrap his arm more fully around me. His fingers began stroking through my hair as he gradually smoothed the unruly strands away from one of my antlers. He had already commented on the autumn buds that had started to open on the tiny wooden prongs. My ear flickered when his hand brushed it slightly, and it made him breathe a laugh before he kissed it.
“I know you protected me. They would have used our bond to pull your power out of me too,” I blurted while my head was pressed into his chest to avoid his eyes.
Sage flinched the way I expected he would, and I felt a brief pang of regret for hurting him.
And then I felt his emotion. It was almost as if I had jogged his memory, and suddenly I could feel the echoes through our bond like I had the first time. The memory of his fear and horrorat the realization of what they were trying to do. The feeling of their claws scraping along the doorways in his mind that would have given them access to me. To the other riders. It had taken every ounce of his resolve and mental fortitude to keep those monsters from hurting us. Even as they retaliated with unspeakable pain, Sage had defended our bonds fiercely.
“There was no way I would let them hurt you like that. No matter what they did or threatened to do to me. I will always protect you,” he promised me.
I was about to reassure him of the same, but then I felt his head turn away from mine.
“Are you alright?” I asked him worriedly as I lifted my head up to examine the deep furrows between his brows. It seemed to take him a moment longer this time to work up the courage to say whatever was on his mind.
“I just… I should not make promises I cannot be sure will never be broken,” he said without meeting my eyes.
“What do you mean?” I pressed, although I was pretty sure I already knew what he was talking about.
“I promised never to leave you, and then I broke that promise just hours later,” he reminded me bitterly.
I was expecting his words, but the explanation still felt like it crushed my chest. I quickly pulled out of his hold to straddle his waist, and my hands slipped around his jaw to make him look up at me. The insecurity and confusion in his eyes wasn’t something I could have ever imagined seeing Sage struggle with.
Ihatedit. I hated it sofuckingmuch.
“It was out of your control—”
“But you were reluctant to entrust me with your heart, and I insisted that you could. Then I let you down almost immediately. You must have been so… angry with me,” Sage guessed uneasily, watching me for any hint that his fear was legitimate. But I shook my head vehemently.
“I couldneverbe angry with you for something so out of your control. I was heartbroken,” I admitted because there wasa good chance he could see as much about my memories and emotions as I could about him. “But none of this was your fault; we could not have foreseen it!”
Sage held my eyes for a moment as if making sure of my sincerity before nodding. And as I watched him take one of my hands to kiss my palm, the anger that had been simmering in my stomach began to turn acidic again.
“The ones I hold responsible for thiswillpay for what has been done to you,” I swore with such fervour that my voice trembled. He glanced up in surprise.
“Did you not already mete out punishment?”
“Not to everyone,” I gritted through clenched teeth.
“You mean Riordan and Amira,” he guessed and raised a hand to tug more hair away from my antler. “I can only guess what you are feeling since she is your friend—”
“She is no longer a friend of mine. Shebetrayedme in the worst way possible,” I snarled. My rage was so potent that it filled the air between us with the awful scent of scorched wildflowers.
“I doubt she did so intentionally,” he tried again.
“Does itmatter? You were taken and hurt because of her and Riordan. The Sylvan could never have taken you if not for the deal they made,” I maintained.
“Perhaps, but I am also home safe now because of her, and you would only—”
“But you are notwholewithout your magic!” I insisted more loudly than intended. I quickly dropped my head into my hands when Sage sat up, but I let him wrap his arms around me and give me a comforting squeeze.
