I felt like I might be sick and turned away, only for my toe to nudge something that clattered against the floor. Glancing down, I saw the pieces of Sage’s armour still lying on the ground from when I’d stripped them off in a trance two nights ago. Without him to command it back to wherever it usually resided, I supposed it would remain corporeal in the physical world. And still sized to fitme.
Something twisted inside me at the thought, and I had to suck down a deep breath through my nostrils to repress the anguish. Once I was composed again, I spent several moments collecting his armour and placing it on the bed. The last piece was the skull helm with empty eye sockets, which I could not help staring into while I got dressed.
My furred ears perked up at the soft murmur of voices in the next room, so I knew Carrick had arrived.
I drew in another shaky breath once I was dressed and then picked up the familiar bone dagger and its leg sheath fromamidst Sage’s armour.
“You’re keeping both swords for yourself and leaving me with just one little knife?”
“I seem to recall that you are capable of inflicting a lot of damage with just one little knife. Besides, I thought you said you did not need a sword to kill.”
“Fuath taste gross, and they stain my nails!”
“Prove you can be trusted with a knife, and I will consider giving you a sword later.”
I closed my eyes tightly, my grip tightening around the sheathed blade of the same knife Sage had handed me that morning in the clearing while Fuath charged us. I could still remember my first impression of the odd sensations of our bond and how it felt as natural as breathing.
I buckled the harness and knife around my thigh and then turned to pull open the curtains and stepped outside the bedchamber. Serafin and Pyrope padded along behind me on near-silent paws as I strode across the room with my head held high and my jaw clenched.
Rian stood next to Carrick who was gazing around his son’s yurt with such haunted eyes that it almost shattered my resolve when they met mine. I had always thought it was a sign of weakness to allow one’s emotions to be displayed so openly, but now I envied him. I envied his ability to share this pain without feeling any shame.
“Ornella,” he greeted me as he took in my oversized shirt and knife, which both belonged to Sage.
I stopped in front of them, my ears pressing down so tightly they trembled while my hands fidgeted. My eyes darted to Rian in an unintentional bid for his reassurance, which he offered with a slight incline of his head.
I forced myself to meet Carrick’s eyes, and I could see that he was resisting the desire to reach for me. My usual instinct would have been to step away, out of his reach, but I was filled with a different and unexpected emotion.
Without questioning the urge, I pitched forward into his arms, colliding with him hard enough to knock him back several steps, but he didn’t seem to care. He simply wrapped his arms around me and held tightly as I started to sob uncontrollably. I had sworn not to cry in front of anyone, but I couldn’t seem to stop. Especially when I felt him shaking as he cried along with me.
My cries eventually quieted, and then Carrick pressed a tender kiss against the top of my head.
“Rian said you wish to stay here. I understand if that is the case, Ornella, but you should know that you are also welcome to come home with me. We need our family at times like this,” he told me with patience and affection.
His inclusion of me as part of his family almost made me start crying all over again, but this time, I was able to stave off the impulse.
“Thank you, Carrick. I want to stay here,” I answered, my voice muffled against his chest.
“As you wish. Can I give Asha and Shay your love?”
“Yes,” I croaked, releasing him reluctantly and wiping my face before he could see my tears. Even though both males had obviously heard them.
Carrick surprised me when he gently gripped my chin to tilt my head up and meet his watery eyes.
“You are welcome anytime. If you change your mind,” he reassured me sincerely.
I nodded, blinking back fresh tears as he stepped away, looking regretful. He clearly wanted me to go with him, and I was surprised to find myself curious if it was the right decision. But I dismissed the possibility right away, knowing there was so much to do in getting Sage back. And I needed to be with Rian and the other riders for it.
“I am taking Carrick home. While I do that, there is something important I need you to do,” Rian advised me. “Do you think you could… work with Ciaran?”
“Ciaran?” I repeated, my face scrunching in distaste.
“Yes, Ciaran,” Rian confirmed, rolling his eyes at my reaction to the mention of our fellow rider.
I would not normally go anywhere near Ciaran of my own volition, but it occurred to me that he was actually the perfect companion. I was feeling volatile and vicious and didn’t care if I hurt his feelings.
“I think I could manage,” I told Rian.
“The Spring fey who took refuge here as their world was collapsing are diminishing. We have no choice but to take them to the Vale,” Rian began.
