His face burned anew as Kade looked down at him with an unmistakable, soft affection clear on his face. “W-what are you doing?” he stammered, but he didn't pull away or move to take it out, as Kade's fingers trailed lightly down his cheek and the side of his neck.
“I don't know,” Kade admitted, shaking his head as his hand fell to his side. “I don't know what I'm doing. I just... want to be around you.” Florian laughed at that, reaching up to touch the flower in his hair. It was... sweet, in a way, even if he wasn’t the type to wear flowers, in his hair or otherwise.
“You don't need an excuse to come hang out with me,” Florian replied, his voice wavering slightly.
“Florian, I…” Kade started, then stopped, biting his lip. “I... wanted to talk to you about something, before we left. But with everything with Jerah... maybe it could wait.”
“It can't be that bad,” Florian said, shaking his head. “What's wrong?”
“When we leave,” Kade said quickly, looking away as if he were afraid he might stop himself if he met Florian’s eyes. “When we're out in the Blight... I have to keep you safe, both you and Jerah. That's going to be the only thing I can focus on. So we shouldn't…” He trailed off, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
“I know,” Florian replied, uncertain. Hadn't they already had this conversation? “You already said that, back in... When we were over in the field the other night. I know that.”
“No, I mean—we shouldn't be… Together, like this.” He gestured between them, his eyes still firmly planted on the ground.
“I get it,” Florian said again, though his confusion still lingered. “I mean, yeah, I wouldn't really want my dad to find out yet, so... That's fine.”
Kade nodded quickly, and although he looked like there was still more he wanted to say, he remained silent. After a beat of silence, Florian reached up to gently pull the flower out from behind his ear and set it on his writing table. He would have to get a vase or a jar to put it in water, or maybe he would dry and press it.
“Do you want to go down for dinner?” he asked, gingerly reaching over to wrap his fingers around Kade's hand. He sighed, then nodded, and they headed out and down the hallway. As they descended the stairs, Florian released his hand, though they still walked side-by-side until they reached the dining hall.
The next few days were something of a blur, cramming in a final few lessons with his father and archery practice with Kade, as well as packing and making other preparations for their imminent journey. Tatiana visited him a few more times, bringing him a new set of traveling clothes, a sturdy backpack, and other supplies as she procured them.
But all too soon it was the day of the feast. There had been a flurry of activity in the castle first thing in the morning: more workers than Florian could ever remember seeing before hurried through the corridors, especially around the kitchen and dining hall. The main courtyard was a bustle of activity as well. Since the feast would be held outdoors, long tables and benches were being set up along with all manner of decorations.
Much of it, Florian nervously watched from his room, peering down from the window to the part of the courtyard that he could see from his room’s tower. He still was unsure how to feel about all this—Jerah had assured him that there would be nothing expected of him except his presence, and that he needn't worry. But from the moment he awoke to the sounds of scraping tables, quick footsteps, and voices calling out to each other, the same small, sharp fear of the unknown gnawed at his stomach.
He didn't have much of an appetite, so he skipped breakfast. Instead, he alternated between watching from the window and going to stand in front of his mirror—shifting his appearance little by little until he no longer recognized himself, before changing back. He could be whoever he wanted when his father introduced him to the fae citizens. Part of him wanted to look like himself—why shouldn't he? But part of him wanted to be someone else entirely, to avoid ever having to deal one-on-one with any of these people, who would think of him as some long-dead princess somehow returned to life. Maybe that was cowardly of him. Still, it was an appealing thought.
He kept shifting his features around until there was no more comfort in the novelty of it, then he paced around his room for a little bit before deciding to go to Kade’s room on the other side of the hallway. When he knocked at the door, Kade answered after just a few seconds, but he took a startled step back as the door opened.
“Oh,” Kade said, recognition settling over him. “Florian, I... You startled me. I didn't recognize you at first.”
“Oh! Sorry,” Florian stammered. “I was, uh, you know, experimenting, I guess. I forgot. Sorry. Let me change back.” He felt his face shift, the strange sensation becoming more and more familiar now, almost like a muscle spasm.
“I didn't see you at breakfast,” Kade continued, his uncomfortable expression slowly starting to dissipate as he let Florian pass and closed the door behind him. His room was surprisingly homey: a full bookshelf in one corner, a weapons rack near the door, and several decorations on the wall that didn’t look at all like anything Florian had seen in the castle—he assumed they were things he had brought from his home in the wolf kingdom. “I figured you might be feeling kind of stressed, so... I wasn’t sure if you would want company. I didn’t want to intrude.”
“Yeah, I'm feeling nervous about everything,” Florian sighed, glancing over at the window. Kade's view of the courtyard was similar to his own, and with the window open, he could still hear most of the commotion. “The feast, and... Heading out tomorrow. It all seems scary.”
“I'll keep you safe,” Kade said firmly, stepping closer to him and lightly touching his arms; not quite holding him, but a comforting gesture all the same. “For all of it.”
“I know,” Florian chuckled with a nod. “I'm still going to feel nervous, though. It won't stop me, but I'll still feel the same.”
“Can I help at all?” Kade asked, his voice soft, and Florian's heart quickened.
“Well... you could help keep me distracted,” he replied, leaning into his arms. “If that sounds okay to you?”
Kade hesitated for only a moment, before pulling him closer. Florian wrapped his arms around Kade's torso, so they were pressed chest-to-chest, and tilted his head up to rest his chin on the taller man's collarbone.
“Ouch,” Kade said, one hand coming up to tilt Florian's chin toward his face. “Your chin is pointy.”
“Sorry,” Florian said, starting to laugh, but Kade's lips caught his own and stifled the sound. The laugh died in his throat and became a soft moan as Kade kissed him hard, picking up exactly where they left off when they had last pulled away from each other in the fields outside the castle, already over a week ago. Kade's hands were strong and warm, one still cupping his face and the other pressed to the small of his back, so their bodies were flush together.
His whole body prickled with heat that flowed from where their lips touched, the points of contact between Kade's skin and his own. They hadn’t kissed since that afternoon in the field, yet their bodies fit together as effortlessly as if they had always known each other, as if they had kissed a thousand times before. Had it ever felt so good just to kiss anyone else? He couldn't imagine it, couldn't think of anything butKade—the heat of him, the smell of him.
From where Kade's hips pressed against his own, Florian could feel his arousal hard and eager against him. They had talked about taking things slow, and yet... Tentatively, he let one hand trail along Kade's side to find the seam of his shirt, slipping underneath to drag his fingers up his abs and feeling the smooth skin occasionally prickled with coarse hair. Kade groaned against him, but this time he did not pull away. Instead his arm tightened around Florian's waist, pressing him even closer; and his fingers moved to run through his hair, sending little sparks of pleasure coursing from his scalp up his spine.
“Kade,” he gasped, their mouths still pressed together. “I want to—is this—is this okay?”
