“That’s fine.I’m choosing tentative sites for the greenhouse.Will you let me know when you need help so I can take care of Sophie?”
Naturally, she couldn’t concentrate once she left the house.It was Ryan’s fault.His kiss had surprised her.That’s why she’d kissed him back.If she’d been prepared, she wouldn’t have.
But she’d done it and now she couldn’t think of anything else.The way his lips felt on hers.How his hands felt when he stroked them over her skin.How she felt when he kissed his way down her body as he undressed her.She didn’t want to remember.She’d lied when she told him the sex had been good but not fabulous.Sex with Ryan had wrecked her.Ruined her for any other man.Not that she’d tried.She didn’t want another man.She wanted Ryan.But she wasn’t having him.She couldn’t open herself up to heartbreak again.She had her baby to think of now.
Chapter Nine
Ryan needed tohave a long talk with Connor.It was a talk he’d been putting off for years.He couldn’t really come clean to Aria until he’d come clean to Connor.He wondered what Connor would have to say to his confession.Hey, buddy, I lusted after your girl, and she came on to me.Right before she died.
But Connor was married, sickeningly in love, and about to become a daddy.He had a feeling Connor would forgive him.Now, if he could only forgive himself.
The war had screwed him up.The war and Casey.His best friend Connor’s girlfriend.A fellow combat medic.Casey was smart, dedicated, and gorgeous, even with no makeup and dressed in her camo fatigues and other accoutrements that went with her role.Casey had a wicked sense of humor, yet boundless compassion.She and Connor had met early in their combat careers and been together ever since.Ryan had figured they were together for good.
Connor had loved her.So had Ryan, but he never told anyone.She was Connor’s and he wouldn’t betray his friend.So he, Casey, and Connor were friends.Casey and Connor were two of the medics that Ryan dealt with most often.Of course there were others but the three of them seemed to have a special rapport.
Then Casey began acting different.She’d show up and hang around Ryan when Connor was in the field and she wasn’t.She flirted with him.At first Ryan had thought nothing of it, but the longer it went on the more he began to wonder.He’d asked Connor if everything was going well with Casey.Connor said yes, and he was going to ask her to marry him.Ryan decided he was imagining things.
But he wasn’t.
She came to him early one morning, the day she died.Of course, he hadn’t known she was going to die.He wondered if his response would have been different had he known.He wondered if she’d died because of his response.Because he’d turned her down.It wasn’t totally farfetched.She was upset.Not paying attention.Not the best way to go into combat.
“I need to talk to you,” she said.
“What about?”She’d tracked him down to his tent.He’d taken a break before the next influx of injured.She looked determined.He wanted to leave but she blocked his way.
“Connor and I broke up.”
Shit, shit, shit.He’d known it.“Connor’s in love with you.He wouldn’t break up with you.”
“He didn’t.I told him we were over.”She walked to him and laid her hand on his arm.“Don’t you want to know why?”
“It’s not my business.”
“Actually, it is.We broke up because I’m in love with you.”
God, what he’d have given to hear her say that.If Connor hadn’t been in the picture.But he was.“No, you’re not.”
She put her arms around his neck and kissed him.And God help him, he kissed her back.His arms tightened around her and for a moment he forgot everything but holding Casey in his arms and kissing her.Kissed her like he never wanted to stop.Held her in his arms and fought himself, fought to keep from taking what she offered.Then reality hit.
He set her away from himself.“This isn’t happening.”
“Why?You want me, Ryan.Admit it.”
“No.I don’t.”
“Why did you kiss me, then?”
“When a woman plasters herself against you and kisses you, the normal response is to kiss her.It meant nothing.”
“Liar.You couldn’t have kissed me like you did if you had no feelings for me.”
“It was a kiss, Casey.Nothing more.It didn’t mean a thing.”
“You’re fooling yourself if that’s what you think.Ask Connor.He’ll tell you we broke up.”
“I’m not saying you didn’t break up.But not because of me.Don’t lay that on me.”
“Why not?It’s the truth.”She sat on his cot and looked prepared to stay there until she got what she wanted.
