He and Connor had never talked about it.But after they were discharged they handled the trauma in different ways.Connor couldn’t stay with one woman.Until he met Sierra.Ryan couldn’t stay in one place, and no woman had made him want to.
Until Aria.
*
Ryan called Connor,but naturally, he was working so he wound up talking to Sierra.“Do you know how long he’ll be gone?Is he at the hospital or is he on a flight?”
“They were called to an accident scene out on Highway 89.It’s a fair distance away, and the accident was bad with several injuries, some of them possibly life-threatening.So they requested a helicopter.Do you want me to have him call you when he gets in?”
“Yeah.Thanks.”Before he could hang up, Sierra spoke again.
“Ryan?Is everything okay?You sound stressed.”
“I’m fine.Talk to you later.”He hung up and cursed.Of course he was stressed.He was going to talk about one of the worst days of his and his best friend’s life.He knew Connor must have come to terms with it since he’d fallen in love with and married Sierra, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous about bringing up such a painful topic.One he and Connor had never talked about once it was over.
Connor called him early that evening.“What’s up?”
“I need to talk to you.In person.”
“When?”
“Now, if you can.”
“All right.Do you want to come over or want me to come to you?”
“I’ll come to you.Be there in a minute.”
“Can you stop and pick up some chocolate chip ice cream for Sierra?I forgot and she is not happy with me.”
“Sure.”Of course thinking about the ice cream made him wonder what Aria had craved during her pregnancy.He wished he’d been around to find out.More, he wished he’d been around to help her.But he was with her now, and he intended to make it count.
After Connor had taken a bowl of ice cream to Sierra, the two of them went out on the back porch with a couple of beers and sat in the two rockers.
Connor popped the top of his beer can.“What’s going on?Sierra said you sounded super stressed when she talked to you.”
Ryan drank some of his own beer.The only way he knew to do this was to just lay it out.“It’s about Afghanistan.About Casey.”
Connor’s eyebrows rose.“If this is about how you couldn’t save her, we’ve already had that conversation.It wasn’t your fault, Ryan.We both know that.”
“Maybe not.But the fact that she was injured in the first place was my fault.Or it sure as shit could have been.”
Connor leaned back in his chair and propped his foot on his other leg.“I’m listening.”
“I know why Casey broke up with you.”
“Figured that out, did you?”
“She told me.The morning of the day she died.She told me you two had broken up because she was in love with… me.”
“Yeah, that’s what she told me too.Did you know?”
“Not at first.I wondered but I didn’t know for sure.”She’d begun flirting with him, which she hadn’t done in the past.Coming to see him all the time.“By the time she told me I was pretty sure.”
“But you never did anything about it, did you,” Connor said, and it wasn’t a question.
“No.But I wanted to.I was in love with her.If she hadn’t been with you—” He broke off, the implication obvious.
“So, you were in love with her, but you didn’t do anything about it because of me.”
