‘It’s fine, honestly.’
His bag out of the way, they walked the length of the sands up to the breakwaters, stepped over those and made conversation about the different sections of beach, how they attracted different people. On this part of the beach there were a couple of families, one playing beach cricket, the other putting up their windbreak and opening up deck chairs. They talked about the wedding again, the ball, but avoided any mention of their dancing or the abrupt end to their time together. It seemed easier that way and he was happy to be spending time with her. He and Orla had never done this. They’d met in a pub, got together that night, and had never taken the time to get to know each other before they leapt into bed and went full steam ahead into a relationship. Perhaps that was where they’d gone wrong.
‘Are you looking forward to starting the school term?’ she asked him when they eventually turned back. Whatever had been on Jade’s mind still seemed to be causing a frown above those beautiful green eyes, but at least it had lessened, and Linc liked to think he had something to do with that.
‘I am. It’s taken a while to be interested in a permanent role, but I’ve got a good feeling about this one.’
‘And things are falling into place with the cottage.’
‘They certainly are. Melissa floated the idea of selling it at some point and it did get me thinking I might well be interested.’
‘That’s great.’ But her enthusiasm had a sadness behind it, perhaps the same sadness he’d seen in her eyes last night when she turned down his offer of dinner at the pub, told him she couldn’t get involved. ‘You think you could make a home here in the Cove?’
‘I think a change is exactly what I needed and I already feel a part of things here, especially after last night – not that I can remember everyone’s name, I was introduced to that many people.’
‘You’ll get there. And it’s nice you feel as though you belong already.’
‘Is that why you didn’t want to go to Venice? Because you belong here?’ He shook his head at his own stupidity because he’d vowed not to pry but, instead, to be there for her to talk to when she was ready. ‘I apologise, you don’t have to answer that.’
‘It’s part of the reason,’ she volunteered and then clammed up again.
‘Talking might help.’
‘I know.’
It was at least a couple of minutes before she took a deep breath and stopped walking. They were opposite the cove once again and he followed suit when she sat down.
She looked at him and her expression left him in no doubt she was about to be entirely honest. She recapped on her time in Venice, how she’d left there and said goodbye to Dario but had returned to England devastated. ‘I felt that what we’d had was it, my chance to settle down and have the future I wanted. I took a while to pick myself up once we got back to England and I took a big step after that. Celeste was fully supportive but I’m not sure she ever thought I’d take the step that followed, which I’m now ready to do.’
He smiled at her. ‘I’m OK at doing a crossword, not bad at Sudoku, but riddles are something I’ve never been able to get to grips with.’
She puffed out her cheeks. ‘I froze my eggs.’
It took a moment for his mind to compute what she meant. ‘That’s a big step.’
‘I know. Huge. But by the time I did it, I was thinking clearly and it made me feel I was in control, that I no longer had to panic that I wouldn’t be able to have a family, that I’d never find the right person to settle down with. Does that make sense?’
He raked a hand through his damp hair. ‘You took control. That part does make sense. But what do you mean about the next step?’
‘I’ve made an appointment at a clinic to talk about using them.’
‘That’s a huge step.’ He stopped her jumping to conclusions. ‘I’m not saying it’s bad – it’s a lot to take in, that’s all. I had no idea you were thinking that way.’
‘I don’t exactly broadcast it.’
‘No, I don’t suppose you would.’
He wanted to blurt out what he’d been doing, the reasons why, the stories he’d read before he decided to go ahead with the process, the conversations he’d heard, the blog entries that had sparked thanks, gratitude and the sharing of sad scenarios that had progressed to joyful outcomes for the lucky ones.
‘I’ve made an appointment in a few weeks,’ she added. ‘I have the money saved up, the business is at a point where we can manage it between us should I be lucky enough to fall pregnant. I’d made the decision to do this before Dario turned up…’ She hesitated and he wondered was she also thinking she’d made this decision before he turned up in the Cove too? ‘Him being here made it all the more difficult. It had me questioning whether I was crazy to do this alone when he was offering me the world. But I couldn’t be with him for the wrong reasons.’
It took Linc a minute to realise that what he’d overheard in the pub definitely wasn’t what it had sounded like and all he felt was relief. She was exactly the person he thought she was – and more so with her determination to go it alone. He felt terrible that he’d assumed otherwise, left the pub that night without a word of goodbye. ‘Wait here.’ He ran over to the rocks to grab his bag and came back over to her.
‘Tell me honestly, Linc, am I crazy?’ she asked the second he came to her side.
‘Crazy to want everything you’ve ever dreamed of?’ He shook his head. ‘Not at all.’
‘It’s expensive too. I’ve got enough money to do it a couple of times, three if I’m lucky. Celeste says she’s behind me. I think it took her a few days to process that my actions after Venice, the freezing of my eggs, had led to this, to actually taking it further. She worries about me – the feeling is mutual – but she’s on my side.’
