What?This was no mere discussion about a ball, then.Do not say it!he wanted to yell. It took all his control to merely lift a brow.
“I do not believe I am, or will ever be, the proper husband for your sister. I look upon her as a sister of my own; it would be so very unfair to her, to marry solely for my own selfish desire to retain your good will and elevate my family name.”
Darcy’s jaw clenched. “Elevating one’s family is not selfish. It is responsible.”
“It would be, in my case, because I cannot love her as she deserves. I know what love feels like now, and to give her less would be unkind—cruel, even. I would grow to resent her for what is not at all her fault. In the end, I might even lose the favour I desire so sincerely to preserve—your friendship.”
Friendship, ha! This was what afriendwould do? Obviously, Bingley does not know the meaning of the word.Somehow, Darcy managed a reasonable tone. “I refuse to believe you would ever treat her cruelly. It is not in you.”
Bingley sighed. “Cruelty is not always harsh and grating. It can be in neglect, indifference, in bitterness. It can be a failure to love, when she is willing to give all she has. Miss Darcy is a perceptive young lady—anyone who can play the pianoforte with such passion, who can sketch with such perfection, must possess a good deal of sensitivity. Yes, cruel seems the right word.”
Fine!Darcy would have their trunks packed, gather up Georgiana, and be out of Netherfield within hours. “Of course, you must do as you think best,” Darcy bit out.As must I.
Bingley nodded soberly. “I deserve your anger. You have every right. Your sister is a precious gift, and I have refused it. I will only say that before coming to this conclusion, I have examined my heart, pondered carefully, and resolved to do as I feel a gentleman ought—what I believeyouwould have done in my position. It is how I make all my most important decisions, you know.” He stood, bowed, and left the room, leaving his untouched plate behind.
Darcy stared after him, those words repeating in his head, drilling into his chest with the force of a punch.
“…resolved to do as I feel a gentleman ought…what I believeyouwould have done…all my most important decisions…”
Bingley had taken him for an exemplar, as Darcy had once taken his own father.
How would his own father have acted? For Georgiana, yes, he might have attempted to arrange a good marriage for her, with someone who could love and appreciate her. Darcy had not been wrong in hoping that Bingley would consider it.
Regardless, Bingley has shown himself to be an honourable man in refusing, if he is certain he could never love her, and Father would not have held it against him. In fact, he would have appreciated a man who could not be bought.
Another question pressed itself to the forefront of his mind.What would Father have thought of Elizabeth?
Father loved children; he would have admired her commitment to her young brother. He certainly could not have approved of her removal from Longbourn to live practically alone. Yet, he had held an extreme distaste for men such as Philips—men who would steal, by any means at their disposal, a fortune belonging to young Edward Bennet.
His father had not been the magistrate, but how many times had he been approached to resolve issues, to help—not only their tenants, but many others? Their vicar, old Mr Wilson, had relied upon him regularly to intervene, to use his influence and reputation to improve the lives of his parishioners, and using the Darcy wealth had been the least of it.
My father would have brought pressure to bear on the situation, he realised. Unlike Goulding, who had done precisely nothing to actually lessen Philips’s disgusting behaviour, his father would have breathed fire down the weasel’s neck, ensuring Philips knew that his every action was being watched and weighed. It would never have become necessary for Elizabeth to take the full burden of Edward’s situation upon hershoulders, because she would have had a champion—probably all unknowing, as George Darcy had been subtle, and never heavy-handed.
Darcy had known of her plight for weeks, but what had he done to help beyond allowing Georgiana to offer hers? He had allowed his opinion of Philips to be known, idly, in a few random conversations, the sum total of any effort. Had he encouraged Bingley to take a stand on the issue? Had he confronted Sir William about his spiteful criticisms? Had he brought any pressure to bear at all? No. Always mindful of his pride, always ashamed of his own feelings for Elizabeth, always avoiding those for whom he held a distaste, he had been careful to pretend a deep disinterest.
In George Darcy’s home, peace had always reigned; his servants were well paid, and he was loyal to them. Not only in his home, but in his neighbourhood, every young lady was safe. He had considered such to be part of his code of honour. It was why Wickham had never spawned bastards in their part of the country—George Darcy would have heard of it, and all his support would have been lost.
I should never have shielded Father from the consequences of Wickham’s actions at Cambridge. He would not have approved. He did not require me to protect him at any cost.
Bingley had claimed to know love, and because he did, he knewwhomhecouldlove. Georgiana had claimed Elizabeth had given up on a love of her own, in favour of Edward’s happiness.
What do I know of love?
Not as much as Bingley, who had sacrificed a great deal for it already.
And not as much as Elizabeth, who was, plainly, willing to sacrifice everything.
Thirty-Three
AN EXTRAORDINARY APPLICATION
Georgiana was at Elizabeth’s doorstep earlier than usual the next morning. Elizabeth had been unable to sleep, for wondering how foolish she would feel in the morning, but Georgiana showed no sign of wishing for deep conversation.
“Good morning!” she chirped cheerfully.
Neddy stood, looking up at her happily.
“I wonder if I could take Neddy for a ride up the Oakham Mount trail this morning? The sun is shining, for once!”
